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| Send Them Off as Jews |

Send Them Off as Jews: Chapter 1

Almost everyone wants a rabbi to visit at the end of life. There is a sense that it is a sacred time

Working as a rabbi with hospice patients is a bit like dropping behind enemy lines in a parachute.

You know the essentials of your job — provide comfort, give halachic guidance, answer questions, and, most importantly, be present for the patients and their families. But in reality, you’re constantly jumping into a fluid situation where you have little information, and tensions are high. And you never really know what you’ll have to do until your feet hit the ground.

I knew little about Linda. She was in her eighties, had no husband or children, and was close to the end of her life. She seemed at peace when I walked into her room, but she was no longer speaking, and the only person by her side was Loretta, her non-Jewish caregiver.

Loretta was happy to see me. She had spoken with a distant relative of Linda’s and asked if they should call a rabbi to visit Linda, as she seemed to have little time left. This relative told Loretta that they were just “casual” Jews. Although Linda would have a Jewish funeral, they would not be calling a rabbi before she died.

Loretta, who wore a cross around her neck, found this explanation somewhat bewildering, which is why she was visibly relieved when I offered to say the traditional end-of-life prayers at Linda’s bedside. She felt like it was the appropriate thing to do.

I had with me a printout of the tefillos that are said at the very last moments of life: Shema, Baruch Sheim, and Hashem Hu Ha’Elokim. They were translated into English, so I gave Loretta a copy in case she wanted to follow along. I said these eternal tefillos as Loretta read along in English: Shema, once; Baruch Sheim, three times; Hashem Hu Ha’Elokim, seven times, followed by Hashem Melech.

To us, these tefillos are instantly familiar: They are the same words we say at the climax of N’eilah, itself the climax of Yom Kippur. But I sensed that Loretta was confused. She was expecting, I assume, something different. You would naturally assume that a prayer for the end of life would include a request for peace or a description of the passage to the World to Come.

But there is nothing about that in the prayers we read in those final moments.

 

Excerpted from Mishpacha Magazine. To view full version, SUBSCRIBE FOR FREE or LOG IN.

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