"I guess I should have expected a normal summer zeman — but it turns out that COVID-normal is quite the experience"

Photos: Meir Haltovsky, Family photos

As told to Nechama Goldner

From: Esther Gross*

<esther@apexhealthcare.com>

To: Aliza Gross

<grossfam12@outlook.com>

Wed 4/22/20 10:13 p.m.

Hi Aliza,

Hope you and the kids are doing well!

We were all kind of hoping that when we turned on the news Motzaei Pesach we’d hear that all the little coronaviruses had shriveled up and died, and the governor would announce that it was back to school and business as usual.

But they didn’t and he didn’t and like everyone else, we’ve been trying to figure out how to combine a full-time job with full-time learning and full-time parenting and teaching and cooking and cleaning.

Then yesterday, during Rabbi Appel’s daily chizuk call, the rosh kollel dropped a bombshell: The kollel will be opening for the new zeman. Legally.

There’s a camp, 110 acres, that allows us to use the premises. As a group quarantining together, we’d essentially count as one household, not subject to the limits on gatherings. The men can learn, we can set up daycare — real life again! How idyllic is that?

Not.

The accommodations sound a little... challenging. “It will be a shtickel mesirus nefesh for your wives,” is how he put it. We’d be using the staff quarters, giving us two rooms per family, maybe two and a half for the biggest families. No kitchenettes, no living areas, just bedrooms and bathrooms.

It’s crazy. I literally haven’t left my apartment in three weeks. The thought of being in close proximity to 150 other people is... dizzying.

The logistics are overwhelming, and then there’s the bigger questions: Is this medically sound? What if someone is carrying COVID? It’s legal, but will it cause a chillul Hashem?

We all compared notes: Dr. Cohen is on board, he says it’s a great idea. Dr. Epstein doesn’t like it, but he never likes anything that’s not super conventional. Gelbstein’s rav wants to know if he can come be the camp rav. Schechter’s rav says assur gamur.

So, so many considerations.

From: Esther Gross

<esther@apexhealthcare.com>

To: Aliza Gross

<grossfam12@outlook.com>

Thurs 4/23/20 9:46 p.m.

Hi Aliza

Sorry for leaving you hanging. So many details to work out and so little time! The zeman starts in one week. First come first serve, limited spots available — they have room for about 30 families.

And I had so many questions! What if we need medical care while quarantining in the middle of nowhere? What will we eat? Do we need quarters for the washing machines?

But the pieces are starting to fall into place. The kollel sent out an info sheet about the catered meals that will be brought from Lakewood twice weekly. There’ll be an administrator who’ll make weekly rounds picking up everyone’s mail. We got a packing list and instructions for loading the truck that will carry all our earthly possessions off to the mountains.

I’m not a camp person. I don’t have happy memories of the bungalow colony, I love my clean house and routine and privacy, and I literally cannot think of one good thing about moving to some remote campgrounds for who knows how long.

But I remember my husband’s tears and his learning. And I’m packing.