Support from family members is invaluable in the journey of life

One of the benefits of marriage and family life is the potential for living in a circle of warm nurturing support. The journey of life is inevitably challenging and it is hard to go it alone. Research shows that being surrounded by supportive people helps us cope better with stress helps us prevent and recover more quickly from illness and especially helps us better handle tragedy and trauma. The more support we can access the better our physical and mental health.
While support can certainly come from friends neighbors mentors and mental health professionals family support has special advantages. Nothing beats living with a supportive person or two! It is more than simply helpful to experience care and nurturing at the dinner table. Having a person there right when you need them makes the unbearable bearable. It replenishes drained resources restoring strength hope and energy.
Supportive family members can also provide a higher level of support than any others in the sense that they know us so well. They’ve been with us over the daily course of our lives they witness our strengths and vulnerabilities they understand us in ways that no one else can. With this inner knowledge they possess intense healing potential. They have the capacity to deliver what we need when we need it most.

What Is Support?
Support may be physical or emotional practical or inspirational.
“Since my husband died I have felt lonely and depressed. My son lives close by with his family and both he and his wife help me in many small ways. Sometimes they do a bit of shopping for me. Sometimes they send a grandchild over with soup or cake. Once a day they’ll call to say hello. I am healthy enough to do these things myself but their actions make me feel cared for and that’s what I need most.”
When a husband takes his wife to the hospital and helps her get settled he is providing support. When a grown child talks to her mom about the upcoming surgery explaining all the medical terms options resources and other relevant information she is providing support. When a sister-in-law listens sympathetically to feelings of worry and fear she is providing support. When a grandchild brings a cheerful drawing to the hospital room she too is providing support.
“My son studied so hard for his accounting exams and so much depended on the outcome. Both he and I were devastated when he failed. I wanted to make his pain go away to tell him that he would pass next time and everything would be all right. But I knew that this kind of talk was more for myself than for him; it was only because I couldn’t stand seeing him hurt and I wanted to talk him out of feeling bad.
“Instead of cheering him up I let him talk and accepted everything he had to say. He told me he felt like a failure and that nothing would ever work out for him that there was no point in trying anything and other such things. You can imagine how hard it was for me not to correct every word he said! But I just listened and nodded. I said ‘It really hurts. It’s such a disappointment. It’s so hard ’ and other things like that.
“And it was the right thing to do. Afterward he told me how grateful he was that I was there for him at that very difficult moment in his life. I was grateful too.”

Getting Support
Some people are naturally supportive some learn the skill from living with supportive parents and some fail to learn it in the homes they grow up in. In one’s own home with one’s own spouse and children it is important to ask for encourage and reinforce support.
Remember: Receiving support is vital to your health and wellbeing. Don’t just sit back and complain later that no one was there for you when you needed them. Model the skill of being supportive describe the exact kind of support you want when you need it and reward those who deliver it with generous doses of appreciation and love. Being supportive is as healing as receiving support so your efforts will produce benefits for all of you.