Yom Kippur is in the air. Just a little more time before we hear that haunting melody of Kol Nidrei the annulment of vows that ushers in the holiest of days. I once heard from a beloved rebbi that we begin Yom Kippur by expressing our understanding of the power of words because of the integral role prayer plays on this day. We will spend a good part of the next 25 hours using prayer to ask G-d for forgiveness and many other things articulating our hopes and dreams for ourselves and loved ones in the coming year.  

But before we pour out our hearts to Hashem we first need to acknowledge by reciting Kol Nidrei that we were not always careful enough with our speech and often misused the power of words. A vow creates reality it has substance and halachic ramifications. Words matter.  

The words we use affect others in profound ways; for example in the way we talk to our children: “It’s so good to see you.” “I’ve missed you.” “I love you.” “We’re so proud of you.” Words can gently build a child’s budding confidence and nourish her soul conveying the sentiments that she’s understood accepted and loved.  

Yes words have power. They can create and build. But they can also damage and devastate. Words can slice through a fragile soul such as: “You’re so lazy.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” “All you give me is aggravation.” When said by a parent these are words which can haunt a person throughout life.  

Our words can build walls that separate us from the people we care about from others in our community and even from Hashem. In Jewish thought we are told that this happens every time one sins. Each sin forms a brick in a wall so to speak a barrier which divides us from each other from Hashem and even from our selves.   

And yet just as our actions and words build walls they can also break them down. The force of a sincere apology the dynamic of genuine repentance can make the barriers disintegrate. When it comes to our relationship with others this does not necessarily occur right away. But over time with the right words and attitude demonstrating real regret it will usually happen. “I’m really sorry what I said to you isn’t true. I feel terrible about it ” goes a long way to repairing a relationship. “Please forgive me I was wrong ” are words that are capable of initiating the healing process. And regarding our relationship with Hashem our Torah promises that teshuvah breaks through all barriers.  

In June of 1987 President Reagan standing at Brandenburg Gate challenged President Gorbachev regarding the Berlin Wall which separated East Berlin fromWest Berlin and Communism from democracy. This wall was the symbol of the Cold War that existed for decades between theSoviet Unionand the democratic world. Turning to Mr. Gorbachev Mr. Reagan gestured to the wall and uttered the phrase that historians consider to have signaled the beginning of the end of the Cold War: “Mr. Gorbachev tear down this wall.”  

I have this image in my head: Hashem stands right beside us in the days leading up to Yom Kippur and especially on Yom Kippur itself and whispers to each of us: “Tear down this wall the one that separates us and gets in the way of our closeness.” Hashem asks us to come home feel the redemption of teshuvah and jump into His arms the arms of a loving Father who wants nothing more than to hold us and comfort us.

So Yom Kippur is a time of using words to reduce pain to bring healing to reconnect with all those from whom we’ve grown distant: family friends community the Jewish people Hashem and oneself. To pierce the barriers tear down walls.  

And then we spend the next four days building new walls. These are the walls of the succah walls of intimate connection that don’t separate and isolate but rather the opposite: They frame a family and make a home in which we sit with our families friends and community.  

We sit there too with our nation the entire nation ofIsrael past present and future. And most importantly we sit in the succah feeling the embrace of the presence of Hashem’s Shechinah.