“When you give your neighbor a loan do not go into his house to take something as security.” (Devarim 24:10)

Rashi explains that this pasuk refers even to the most trifling debt.

But this requires explanation. Shouldn’t the Torah have urged us about this even more for a large debt? This implies that it is only for a small debt that one should not seize collateral. But is it permissible to take a security for a large debt? (Chofetz Chaim al haTorah). 

Reuven loans a sum of money to Shimon and Shimon doesn’t show up when the time comes to repay his debt. Reuven wants to ask Shimon for some type of collateral but if it’s a small debt he isn’t permitted to enter Shimon’s home.

And if it’s a large debt?

I am “Reuven” and “Shimon” is my younger sister my upstairs neighbor my students my children or even my husband.

I “Reuven” have given hours of listening and sympathizing as well as endless pieces of cake and cups of coffee to neighbors friends and family. My contributions have ranged from brief smiles and a few words of encouragement at the door of my home to deep soul-searching conversations that lasted into the middle of the night. I have given all of these things freely  without receiving anything in return. Sometimes I gave gladly at other times it was with hesitation or difficulty. But I always gave.

And then the time came for payback. I asked my sister to babysit. I asked my neighbor to buy something for me on her trip overseas. I asked one of my children to clean his room.

But the “Shimons” don’t pay me back. Sometimes they don’t have the resources. Sometimes they forget. Sometimes they don’t understand how important it is to me and sometimes they have other more pressing plans. Whatever the reason may be they simply do not come to repay their debts.

At that moment I “Reuven” want to burst into the home of “Shimon ” let out my anger and demand what’s rightfully mine  degrade him for his lack of gratitude. “Shimon” owes me. But you may not burst into their homes you may not degrade them you may not take anything by force and you may not trample on their dignity — because it is a small trifling debt.

A small debt?

Just a minute! I didn’t simply lend these people a dollar or two. I gave some of them huge chunks of my life. And sometimes it even cost me a pretty penny.

The Torah tells us to return a borrower’s collateral for Hashem says to us “Think about how much you owe Me. Every night your soul comes to Me for a reckoning and is found lacking and I still return it to you. You too shall take and return.”

We all know the words of the Rambam in Hilchos Deios regarding the prohibitions of taking revenge and holding a grudge: “It is proper for a person to be forgiving of everything in the world since those who understand know that all worldly matters are trivial and insignificant and it is not worthwhile to take revenge for them. The Torah therefore commands us ‘Do not take revenge and do not hold a grudge against the children of your people.’$$$seperate quotes” (ibid.) 

Every night while our bodies sleep our souls ascend to Heaven to give an accounting for their deeds. We never know what dialogue took place between our souls and their Creator but we see that in the morning they return for a day that’s entirely a loan from Hashem.

Do we know how to assess the scope of the gift of life? Can we understand the magnitude of Hashem’s gifts to us? Hashem has granted us health wisdom and understanding. Marriage children and parnassah. In relation to all that doesn’t our small “loan ” a tiny fraction taken from Hashem’s gift to us become pale and faded? Doesn’t it seem small and trifling?

Don’t intrude upon the homes of those indebted to you. Act with humility patience and understanding. Because in Hashem’s world any debt that one person can owe another is truly a trifle.