Recently a large black hat and a small knitted yarmulke engaged in a conversation. Here are snippets recorded surreptitiously by your intrepid reporter:

KIPPAH SERUGAH: So why do you insist on being worn in shul and on the street at all times?

BLACK HAT: It’s not an absolute must but a hat helps express the idea of being fully and respectfully dressed before G-d especially during davening. Serving G-d is serious — not a casual matter. A hat expresses that seriousness.

KS: I also respect G-d and His Torah but avodat Hashem should not be burdensome.

BH: Frankly what you call a head covering often seems like a child’s plaything: different colors patterns designs. A head covering is an expression of subservience to the Creator. If you insist on wearing a yarmulke and not a full hat why not a plain black yarmulke. Why be frivolous? Your message is that Torah is Judaism-lite a trinket subject to one’s whims. Besides if you don’t want to wear an actual hat then at least the kippah should be larger than a postage stamp not requiring hair clips….

KS: Unfair. Many knitted kippot are huge and their wearers are quite subservient to G-d. Yemenites and Moroccans don’t wear black hats at all. Plus the colorful kippah expresses our joy in being a Jew: Ivdu et Hashem b’simchah. The Divine Spirit could not descend on the ancient prophets unless they were in a state of simchah. Besides a kippah serugah permits one to be original and creative. Its very variety creates a freshness in avodat Hashem.

BH: Hmm I wasn’t aware that the prophets wore knitted yarmulkes! But seriously simchah is an inner thing not manifested in externalities like clothing. The greatest simchah is to be a true eved Hashem.

KS: But the hat is also an externality. Why black? Doesn’t G-d value self-expression? Blackness telegraphs a certain somberness that is very off-putting. Isn’t the head fully covered even when the hat is not black? Will one burn in Gehinnom if his hat is gray? Why all this conformity?

BH: The black hat firstly is a deliberate attempt to be different from the nations around us. It enables us to be identified as a Jew. Some Jews would rather meld into the background and not be so easily identified. But we want to show our separateness from non-Jewish society. Maybe this is the difference between us. The tiny kippah says I am really part of the larger world but just a bit different: look at my unobtrusive head covering. The black hat says the contrary: I don’t want to be part of the outside world. I remain apart.

KS: On the contrary our kippah says “Welcome” to the outside world. Are you afraid of that world? Have you no self-confidence? Torah should confront the world and engage in it. Maybe the interaction would benefit them. Besides certain things out there are worthwhile: classical music art poetry mathematics physics — chachmah bagoyim taamin — all part of G-d’s universe. Maimonides and Nachmanides knew Greek philosophy. Why utterly reject such things?

BH: Before confronting the world today’s priority is to strengthen ourselves. As for black being off-putting and conformist: firstly chareidi dress is a kind of soldiers’ uniform and chareidim consider themselves part of a holy army. Furthermore when everyone dresses identically there is a de-emphasis on clothing per se. No one tries to look better than anyone else there’s no wardrobe competition. To dress neatly and clean is crucial — but not ostentatiously. The standardized hat and suit is a statement that our essence lies not in what we wear but in what we are — and that is a matter only between us and G-d.

KS: You should be careful not to give the impression that you look down at other Jews — as if you have a monopoly on piety. Not calculated to bring folks back to Torah. But I have to go: appointment with a yarmulke designer. (Chuckling) One last question: When Mashiach comes what kind of head-covering will he wear?

BH:(Chuckling back) A half- knitted and half-black yarmulke. But on top of it he will be wearing a hat.

KS: What color?

At this point our tape runs out. Stay tuned for further conversations.