Wake up fresh and ready to go.

Wondering or thinking how today it’s not going to get me.

I’ll keep up the stamina keep up that positive outlook.

Then the phone rings.

A canceled shidduch a child was looking forward to.

When I go to the doctor’s office there’s a note on the door: “The doctor will not be in today due to a personal emergency.”

But I’m not going to let it get me. Even though it’s hot out. And there was a lot of pressure not to be late so we ran here. And I still haven’t broken the news to the child about the cancelled shidduch. I carry its heavy weight on my shoulders.

Then I find out the dates for the sleepaway camp my child’s been waiting for all year have changed. It’s now on the same dates as a family wedding and sheva brachos.

The heavy weight of choice.

Also as cliché as it sounds add a flat tire.

And it’s only 9:30 in the morning.

I catch myself slouching from the weight but I tell myself No no no. Stand straight. Hold up your shoulders.

There’s a world of a difference between standing straight and slouching.

It’s like a Hebrew letter; one curve can change the entire meaning of a word.

I apply the “life-could-be-worse” theory. And the gratefulness for what I do have but this just evens out the weight so I don’t tumble over.

A friend calls. She tells me about a drive she had from the supermarket to her apartment.

“You know I never spend money for a taxi.” She starts by justifying herself. “But today I took the 17 shekels and just hailed a cab.” She says it like she’s still inManhattan. “I can’t carry those heavy packages anymore. I’m too old.” She’s still trying to redeem herself. “I’ve carried them for 28 years already.” She’s done.

“I think you did great to take the taxi” I say in an attempt to lift the heavy guilt.

“Thank you” she says. “Anyway I took the taxi home from the supermarket with this big Russian driver. I brought the cart out to the car and was about to unpack it when the Russian driver jumped out and offered to help. I say ‘No no I’ll do that it’s heavy.’$$separatequotes$$”

And the driver says “That’s why I’m helping you. Because it’s heavy.”

She pauses for dramatic effect.

“This is when I realized that this is what I’m looking for in life. I’m looking for someone to come out and say ‘Hey we want to help you with all those heavy things in your life take the weight off your shoulders.’

“But that’s not what’s happening. And I realize I have to give those bundles to G-d.”

She goes on to repeat the story about the poor Jew and the rich wagon driver. How the poor Jew had a heavy bundle so a rich man pulls his wagon over to offer him a ride. The poor Jew gets in the wagon but he continues to carry the heavy bundle. The driver tells him to put down his bundle. But the poor Jew says “It’s enough you’re carrying me; why should your horses have to carry my heavy bundle as well?”

“Even if you carry the bundle” the rich man tells him “my horses are still carrying you both!”

And this is the mashal for the relationship between a man and G-d.

“And I see that big Russian taxi driver as a mashal of what G-d does” she tells me and then she repeats the lines of the Russian driver: “That’s why I’m helping you. Because it’s heavy.”