“Bilam said to Balak ‘Build for me here seven altars.’ ” (Bamidbar 23:29)

Shelo lishmah leads to lishmah. When a person does something good for the wrong reasons it will lead him to ultimately act for the proper reasons.

“Rav Yehudah taught in the name of Rav: A person should always engage in Torah and mitzvos even if he does not do so lishmah [with pure motivations] for from acting not lishmah a person will come to act lishmah. For in the merit of the 42 korbanos that the king of Moav offered he was privileged to be the ancestor of Rus who was the ancestress of Shlomo about whom it says ‘Shlomo would sacrifice a thousand olos [burnt offerings].’  ”

The korbanos Balak brought are the quintessential example of a mitzvah done with ulterior motives. The whole purpose of his sacrificial offerings was to make it possible for Bilam’s curse to be fulfilled.… Can there be any greater example of shelo lishmah? (Toras Yitzchak Rav Yitzchak Elchanan Waldshein ztz”l) 

I turn off the mixer. “Mommy” says my little girl “I think this cake will be delicious.”

“In honor of Shabbos kodesh.”

“Also in honor of me” she adds significantly. “Because I like this cake.”

All right in your honor too.

That night I make another cake in addition to the standard chocolate one. A Shabbos with company justifies the added effort. “In honor of Shabbos and the guests” I murmur as usual.

“Also in honor of me” a little voice inside me suddenly answers. “This cake is being made for the impression I want to create!”

I am silent suddenly confused. Deep down I know it’s important to me that my sister-in-law is impressed and that’s the real reason I’m not satisfied with my standard chocolate cake.

At that moment I was no longer able to tell myself the cake was “l’kavod Shabbos kodesh.”

It’s more than just the cake. I often buy new clothing ostensibly in honor of Shabbos but there’s no doubt my own interests are also motivating me. I often host company and visit women recovering from birth. My actions aren’t always free of ulterior motives.

Suddenly I feel ashamed of all these deeds. The foul smell of hypocrisy assails my nostrils. Am I like the emperor in his new clothes?

I don’t need anyone to expose me. I know the truth. True I’ve worked hard on Purim costumes succah decorations beautiful Seder tables. But how much of “me” is there in all these actions? Far too much — and only I know just how much. Can anything positive be said of deeds tainted so much by self-interest?

But even Balak’s deeds resulted in the birth of Rus.

It may be true that when I daven at the graves of tzaddikim I also enjoy my trip to the North but is my desire to daven and cry out to Hashem any less genuine? Aren’t those tefillos drawn from the very depths of my heart? Aren’t my tears pure and real? Without any doubt.

True I want to impress my sister-in-law. But I also have a sincere desire to please her as a guest.

It may be true our own desires and concerns are involved. But don’t we also have genuine deep-rooted desires for spirituality? If we peel away that external veneer we’ll discover that deep within our true motivation is the basic desire to be better to fulfill more mitzvos and to come close to Hashem

This teaches us the true scope of the idea that pure lishmah intentions arise from intents that aren’t pure. The worst possible shelo lishmah gives rise to the purest ideal lishmah.

From this we learn the tremendous value of a tiny particle of truth. The pasuk states “If there is a single angel out of thousands defending him … he will be shown mercy” (Iyov 33:23-24). Chazal explain that if a person has performed a mitzvah 999 parts evil and only 1 part good he will still be granted atonement. (ibid.)

The new cake comes out of the oven; it looks mouthwatering. Yes it was partially meant for my benefit — but it was also for Shabbos and for the sake of my guests.

And from the shelo lishmah the lishmah will come.