If we knew how much He loves us, we'd never sin

For years, I was baffled by the concept of unconditional love. It seemed to defy all logic.  Of course love shouldn’t depend on beauty, wealth, or social status, but is it really possible to love someone for no reason?

These questions evaporated when I became a mother and felt that first surge of love as I held my newborn baby. And I continued to love my child unconditionally, even when she engaged in less-than-perfect behavior.

Firstborn Child

The love parents feel for their children is a natural instinct Hashem implanted within us (Sefer Orchos Tzadikim, Shaar Harachamim). Perhaps Hashem implanted this instinctive love to help us gain insight into the love our Heavenly Father has for His children.

At a Torah Umesorah convention many years ago, Rabbi Nosson Segal told the story of a young man who traveled to the far corners of the world to “find himself.” His father was deeply troubled by the choices his son was making and the subsequent breakdown of their relationship.

The father was a highly respected physician, and one of his greatest professional goals was to participate in a prestigious speaking tour in South America. After 25 years of practicing medicine, he was finally invited to participate in the tour. Night after night, he worked diligently, perfecting his speeches, excited at the opportunity to fulfill his dream. A few days before his scheduled departure, his son called.

“Dad, I’ve hit rock bottom. I bought a ticket to come home on Sunday. Can you pick me up from the airport?”

Sunday was the day he was scheduled to leave! But without uttering a word about the tour, the father assured his son he would greet him at the airport. He canceled his place in the tour, forfeiting an opportunity of a lifetime. When he picked up his son, time seemed to stop as they hugged each other and cried.

“That was the best speech I ever gave,” said the father when he recounted the story to Rabbi Segal.

Why did the father sacrifice his life’s dream in order to meet his son, who’d caused him so much pain and disappointment, at the airport? Because a father loves his child unconditionally and his greatest wish is for his child to want to be close to him.

As we know, everything in the physical world has a parallel in the spiritual world.

Just as a parent’s love is constant, so, too, Hashem’s love for us is constant. Just as a parent’s greatest desire is that his child should want to be close to him, so too, Hashem’s greatest desire, kiveyachol, is that we should want to be close to Him. And regardless of whether or not we act in ways that show our desire for closeness with Him, Hashem continues to love us and care for us.

Hashem chose Klal Yisrael as His nation not when we were on a high spiritual level, but when we were in Mitzrayim, on the 49th level of impurity, engaging in idol worship. At that point Hashem endearingly called us “My firstborn child.” The reason for this, explains Nesivos Shalom, is to teach us that Hashem’s love for us is everlasting and not dependent on our actions. Each day, when we fulfill the mitzvah of mentioning Yetzias Mitzrayim, we should remind ourselves of Hashem’s eternal love for us. (As seen in GPS! Navigation for Your Soul, by Yaakov Shain and Avi Fishoff.)

Not only does Hashem love us unconditionally, He always takes care of us, even when we defy Him. “I will never abandon or forsake you,” Hashem swore, “whether or not you are deserving” (Medrash Esther Rabo, Parshah 7, as seen in GPS! Navigation for Your Soul).

After Adam and Chavah sinned, Hashem needed to punish them — but He still provided them with dignified clothing. When Bnei Yisrael sinned, Hashem needed to destroy the Beis Hamikdash and send us into galus — but He came along with them in galus.

Don’t Fall for It

The yetzer hara works hard to convince us that we’re unworthy of Hashem’s love. “Why should Hashem love you after you’ve sinned?” he argues. Imagine a captain who, in the midst of leading his troops in battle, suddenly receives an urgent message to surrender. While the instructions appear to be coming from his general, they were in fact dispatched by the enemy. What a tragedy it would be if the captain followed the orders!

When we hear a voice in our mind telling us Hashem has given up on us, we need to identify it as the voice of our archenemy, the yetzer hara. Because just as we never give up on our children, Hashem never gives up on us.

At the end of parshas Va’eschanan, it says, “Lo mei’rubchem mikol ha’amim chashak Hashem bachem — It is not because you are more than the other nations that Hashem has desired you and chosen you, because you are the least of all the nations”(Devarim 7:7). Kli Yakar explains that “more” and “least” in this pasuk do not refer to the number of people but to the number of mitzvos and aveiros. Bnei Yisrael were not truly worthy; they were an am keshei oref, stubborn people who had not perfected themselves. Hashem is telling Klal Yisrael: “Ki mei’ahavas Hashem eschem…” (Devarim 7:8): I desired you because I love you with an unconditional love, simply because you are the descendants of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov.

Never Alone

We must recognize that Hashem will always love us and always take care of us, regardless of anything we do or don’t do. When Bnei Yisrael sin, Hashem says, “V’histarti panai meihem,” I will hide My Face from them and many troubles will befall them. People will say, “It is because Hashem is not in our midst that these troubles came upon us” (Devarim 31:17). Hashem will then hide His face further.

What is it about Bnei Yisrael’s response that elicits this harsh reaction from Hashem? Aren’t they acknowledging that they sinned, and that is why Hashem abandoned them?

The mefarshim explain that we must never feel that Hashem is not in our midst. Rashi translates the words “V’histarti panai, I will hide My Face,” to mean “as if I don’t see their pain.” In truth, Hashem always sees our pain and is always with us. Even when we fall, even when we sin, Hashem is always with His beloved children.

Hashem’s unconditional love for us doesn’t give us the green light to do whatever we want; it means that we should do our best not to disappoint our Father Who loves us so deeply.

The Ponevezher Rav, Rav Yosef Kahaneman, was once waiting to board a flight in Rome when a secular Israeli professor, who recognized the Rav from newspaper pictures, greeted him with “shalom aleichem.”

The Rav responded by hugging the professor, who told him, “If you knew what kind of sinner I am, you wouldn’t hug and kiss me.”

The Ponevezher Rav hugged him again. “If you only knew how much Hashem loves you despite your sins,” he said, “you wouldn’t continue sinning.”

“I can’t say that after this story I became a baal teshuvah,” the professor wrote in his memoirs, “but I did begin to put more thought into my life, and I tried to start improving my ways.” (Quoted in Sparks of Majesty, by Genendel Krohn.)

Before Krias Shema of the morning prayers, we say “Ahavas olam ahavtanu — You’ve loved us with an everlasting love.” We need to feel with every fiber of our being that Hashem’s love for us is everlasting. We need to believe that our loving Father will always be eager to accept us when we call to Him and tell Him that we want to come back home.

Rebbetzin Suri Gibber has been involved in chinuch habanos for decades, first as general studies principal in Bais Yaakov High School of Miami, and, for the past 15 years, as principal of Bais Yaakov High School of the Twin Cities. She also gives adult education classes.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 671)