Going to the hospital is always challenging for a rabbi. Although most hospitals have visiting hours there’s no guarantee that whoever you’re visiting will be in a “visiting mood” precisely during those hours.

I’ll sum up the challenge by paraphrasing Shakespeare: “To wait or not to wait? That is the question.”

What do I do after I’ve traveled over an hour to visit someone in aManhattanhospital only to find them sound asleep? If I just quietly leave the patient to his much-needed rest I run the risk of the patient feeling scorned by the rabbi who obviously took a quick peek into their room and just as quickly turned on his heels to leave. They’ll ultimately claim they weren’t really sleeping — haven’t slept a wink in fact since arriving at the hospital! This result is outright dangerous. To now paraphrase William Congreve “Gehinnom has no fury like that of a congregant who feels slighted by his rabbi!”

And if I choose to wait? This solution is also not ideal. How long is considered proper to wait? If I wait 15 minutes and then leave the patient will say “Oh I must’ve woken up the second after you left.”

When I was in Eretz Yisrael last month a family member related an incident to me that afforded me some insight into this question.

A number of years ago an elderly cousin of mine Rav Simcha was recuperating from an illness at a rehab center in Yerushalayim. He’d grown up in Yerushalayim’s Shaarei Chesed neighborhood and knew Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach from their days as cheder students at Eitz Chaim over 70 years before.

Each aseres yemei teshuvah Rav Shlomo Zalman would visit older rabbanim who were sick or incapacitated. That year Rav Shlomo Zalman and his son Rav Baruch decided to visit my cousin in his rehab center. When they arrived however they found him sleeping.

Rav Baruch said to his father “Too bad he’s sleeping; I guess we came for nothing.” To his shock and amazement Rav Shlomo Zalman told his son to wake the elderly rav! Rav Baruch froze — he didn’t feel it was right to wake the patient but didn’t want to disobey his father. Rav Shlomo Zalman seeing his son’s hesitation explained that the patient wasn’t sleeping because he was sick; rather he was sleeping out of boredom. Then Rav Shlomo Zalman approached the bed himself. He gently lifted the covers from the sleeping elderly man and in a sing-song voice said “Rav Simcha Rav Simcha; look you have visitors.”

Rav Simcha opened his eyes to see the cherubic face of Rav Shlomo Zalman looking at him. He smiled broadly and happily engaged them in cheerful conversation. About a week later Rav Baruch met up with a grandson of Rav Simcha. The grandson said “You know your father Rav Shlomo Zalman knows how to do chesed. My grandfather told me that if you’d left and he found he’d missed your visit he would’ve felt worse than if you hadn’t come at all. Thank you for waking him.”

I cannot tell you that I now automatically wake every soundly sleeping person I come to visit. However what I can say is that now I ask myself “If I were lying in that bed would I want the visitor to wake me up or allow me to sleep?”

I may not always arrive at the correct answer. But I am now blessed with more chances of getting it right.