Chazal teach us: “Do not scorn any man and do not discount anything; for there is no man who has not his hour and no thing that has not its place.” (Pirkei Avos 4:3)

From this statement we learn that we never know who really needs who in This World. So often we think we’re helping the other person while in truth we’re the ones being helped.

How true are the teachings of our Sages!

Every so often I receive a call from an “out-of-town” couple or an individual requesting an appointment. I’m often reluctant to give my time to people with “out-of-congregational” issues — even a rabbi only has 24 hours in his day — as my own shul must come first. However this person was persistent and finally I said to myself “We all have to do chesed and we all have to give time to others even me!” So I called him back and told him to come on down toPassaic.

Of course after the meeting I was feeling pretty good about myself for being such a baal chesed. Even people from other communities were coming to meet with me and my magnanimous self!

I am just the paradigm of chesed and compassion I thought as I freely give of my time to help others.

Over the next few weeks as my head continued to swell and I began a search for a bigger yarmulke a call came in inquiring if my son was in “the parshah” (slang for dating). I replied in the affirmative and was soon looking at the shidduch resume of a young lady. As I worked my way through the various names listed as references I called one number without even looking at the name.

When a man said “Hello?” I introduced myself: “This is Rabbi Ron Yitzchak Eisenman fromPassaicNJcalling.” Without missing a beat he said “Oh Rabbi Eisenman so nice of you to call! It’s so special that you’re calling me to follow up on our meeting.”

I was about to say “Excuse me; do we know each other?” However when he mentioned our meeting I quickly realized this was the man causing my hat size to increase by the second. “Yes I did want to know how things are working out ” I said quite honestly. And after he’d filled me in I added “And by the way do you know so and so…?”

Well it turned out he was the perfect reference. And it was his reference that convinced me this young lady was appropriate for my son. One thing led to another and with the help of He Who makes shidduchim my son and this young woman just became engaged! (Simchahs by you as well!)

As I arrived at the vort that man came over to me and commented “Rabbi Eisenman it’s so funny! I thought I was coming to you for help and in the end I was able to help you out too. Isn’t that amazing?”

“It is amazing how Hashem directs the world” I agreed. “I also thought I was the one helping you out and in reality you were helping me to help my son find his soul mate.” I added thinking of the pasuk from Pirkei Avos and how true the teachings of Chazal are.

I wanted to continue to ponder the wonders of Hashem and the truth of the words of Chazal; however my now “too large” hat continued to slip over my eyes precluding me from thinking about anything except how small my head really is.