Imagine being married to the perfect husband.

He is the wisest kindest most caring being you have every encountered. He is the quintessential baal chesed and has not a single flaw. His love is constant and enduring and his greatest desire is to take care of you. He is always there for you and has unlimited means to provide you with all that you desire.

There’s no need for you to imagine. Each of us in Klal Yisrael is already in the perfect marriage. Each of us is wed to the Ribono shel Olam Himself. The marriage took place at Har Sinai when Hashem and Klal Yisrael entered into a covenant a commitment to be loyal to each other for eternity.

Many laws and customs of the Jewish marriage ceremony are patterned after the marriage that took place at Har Sinai. Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan z”l in his book Made in Heaven highlights some of these parallels:

• The chassan gives his kallah a circular ring which has no beginning and no end. This parallels Hashem giving Klal Yisrael the Torah which is endless (Mataamim 135).
• Before the chasunah the chassan signs the kesubah which spells out the obligations between husband and wife. The kesubah represents the Sefer HaBris the Book of the Covenant that Moshe wrote prior to the revelation at Har Sinai (Sefer HaKaneh).
• The chassan and kallah stand under a chuppah which represents the mountain that Hashem held over Klal Yisrael (Rokeach).
• Those leading the chassan and kallah to the chuppah customarily carry candles — reminiscent of the flashes of lightning and fire at Sinai where Klal Yisrael was accompanied by lightning and Hashem by fire (Rokeach).
• The words the chassan says “Harei at mekudeshes li …” begin with the letter heh which has the numerical value of five alluding to the five books of the Torah — the wedding ring of the marriage between Hashem and Klal Yisrael (Tashbatz 466).
• Hashem’s name appears 14 times in the sheva brachos corresponding to the 14 times Hashem’s name appears in the Aseres HaDibros (ibid.).

As we know everything in the ruchniyus world has a parallel in the physical world.

The similarity between the marriage ceremony and the giving of the Torah at Har Sinai  clearly tells us of the similarity between the marriage relationship and the relationship between Hashem and Klal Yisrael. In fact the marriage relationship serves as a model for what the relationship between Hashem and Klal Yisrael should be.

NO ROOM FOR ANYONE ELSE

A mother can love many children. When a baby is born a mother’s love for her other children is in no way diminished by her love for the new baby (contrary to what an older sibling may think).

The marriage relationship is different. A married woman can have a relationship with only one man — her husband. When the chassan says “Harei at mekudeshes li …” he is saying: “You are now like hekdesh something that was consecrated for use in the mikdash. You are now separated from everyone else — li for me.”

The relationship being forged is one in which husband and wife are so connected that there is no room for anyone else. If a married woman does have involvement with another man her marriage is in jeopardy. The connection with an outsider has the potential to endanger and even destroy her marriage.

When we accepted the Torah at Har Sinai we entered into a marriage with Hashem committing ourselves to an exclusive relationship with Him. Immediately after HaKadosh Baruch Hu commanded us to internalize the first of the Ten Commandments “I am Hashem your G-d who took you out of Mitzrayim …” He said: “Do not have any other gods together with Me. Do not bow to them and do not worship them.”

Rav Elchonon Wasserman explains in his treatise Ikvesa D’Meshicha that even though we no longer bow down to idols the concept of avodah zarah idol worship still exists in our times. Rav Elchonon defines idol worship as attributing independent power to a force other than Hashem. Believing that someone or something can do good or bad independent of Hashem’s Will is idol worship. Our marriage to Hashem expresses our belief that Hashem is the only Power and that we trust Him and Him only.

Rav Elchonon expounds upon the various forms of idol worship that Klal Yisrael has engaged in over the last centuries — socialism Communism nationalism — and demonstrates how while we made sacrifices of blood and money to these “idols” we were betrayed by all of them. Each one died a sudden death and disappeared as is the ultimate fate of all idols.

When we put too much trust in our job our boss or our money forgetting that they are merely the messengers of Hashem to do His Will we may be guilty of a subtle form of idol worship as well.

Rav Elchonon quotes the Chofetz Chaim’s explanation of the Gemara in Sotah which tells us that in the times prior to the coming of Mashiach “the face of the people will be like that of a dog.” When a stone is thrown at a dog it attacks the stone and bites it rather than attacking the person who threw the stone. When we attribute power to a falling stock a drunk driver bad weather we’re acting like the dog. As the Chofetz Chaim explains we need to realize that behind everything which occurs to us — good or bad — is Hashem Who is causing it to happen. Our marriage to Hashem requires that we trust in Him exclusively. Trusting anyone or anything else signifies betrayal.

In Torah law if a woman betrays her husband she and her husband cannot continue to live together as man and wife. She is forbidden to her husband forever. HaKadosh Baruch Hu however in His great love and compassion for us has assured us that even if we betray Him He will always take us back — as long as we want to return to Him.

Ashreinu. How fortunate we are to be the beneficiaries of Hashem’s boundless love to have been chosen to be — as Rav Shimshon Pincus ztz”l calls it — “Mrs. Hashem.” How privileged we are to be the recipients of Hashem’s precious ring the Torah. Learning it and living by it solidify our marriage.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 341)