Pesach revolves around recognizing the good in our lives

It’s not our fault really: Hashem wired us for negativity. The brain is set up like a scanner whose goal is to identify what is wrong so that we can fix it. When we are satiated we tend to ignore the condition. When we’re hungry however all the bells and whistles go off driving us to raid the cupboards. When we’re happy with a state of affairs we barely notice (how happy were you this morning with the oxygen you found in the air?). But when we’re not — zoom! We’re on to it giving it all the attention it deserves. This involves not only identifying the issue but also examining it from every angle exploring it consulting on it and doing whatever else we need to do.

In real life it happens like this: Everything is moving along normally in our day when we suddenly get a telephone call letting us know that our child has been sent home from school for behaving in an extremely unacceptable manner. The principal wants to organize a meeting about the matter. Now everything revolves around this current issue its implications the feelings it generates the challenges it presents. Does the sun happen to be shining while all this is going on? Who can even notice? 

But if we can’t even notice it how on earth are we going to feel grateful for it?

Focus Your Attention

The irony is that the only thing that really matters is gratitude. Our entire service of Hashem is about gratitude — singing the praises of our Creator recognizing and acknowledging His Presence in every aspect of creation and throughout our lives. 

In his commentary on prayer Rabbi Schwab ztz”l points out that babies are not born feeling gratitude; parents must teach their children this quality. Hashem too guides us in our development of gratitude by asking us to focus our attention on our redemption from Mitzrayim to consider its myriad miracles and acts of kindness to dwell on its enduring blessings. The Seder is a thanksgiving celebration an acknowledgment of the wonders of Hashem and His goodness. It’s all about gratitude. 

The Challenge of Challenge

When one is in the midst of a difficult challenge it is hard to see what there is to be grateful for. Not only does the challenge block out the other good things in life but the challenge also hides the goodness that it itself contains. 

Imagine a woman named Chaya who has a very challenging relationship with her husband. She is upset both at her husband and at Hashem for not giving her a kinder more loving partner. Chaya can view her situation through the lens of gratitude comforting herself with healing energy of gratitude. For instance she might think:

• I am grateful that I have a husband; not everyone does.
• I am grateful that I am healthy enough to focus attention on my marriage.
• I am grateful for the closeness to Hashem that I have developed as a result of my struggles.
• I am grateful for all the things I’ve learned about myself due to these struggles.
• I am grateful that I have many easy and pleasant relationships in my life that aren’t as challenging as this one.
• I am grateful for the spiritual cleansing provided by this challenge.

Softened with Gratitude

All challenges — even the routine stresses of life — can be softened with gratitude. Developing the habit of appreciation nourishes both body and soul expanding energy reducing disease elevating mood fostering creativity increasing cognitive capacity bringing us closer to Hashem. 

Yes Pesach can be a hard time for Jewish homemakers. But then

• We’re grateful for the opportunity to perform mitzvos.
• We’re grateful for having a family to make Pesach for.
• We’re grateful for the growth opportunity that Yom Tov provides.
• We’re grateful for the house that we are cleaning for Pesach.
• We’re grateful for the children underfoot.
• We’re grateful for the money we are able to spend on this worthwhile cause.
• We’re grateful for whoever helps us and whatever help is provided.
• We’re grateful to be healthy enough to undertake the hard work of the Yom Tov.
• We’re grateful to be Jewish to lead a wholesome life of dedication to Hashem.
• We’re grateful to be alive safe and free grateful to be able to make Pesach.