“My brother-in-law Bentzy has Down syndrome” relates Shaindy. “As the youngest child in a large family his house is always bustling with married siblings and their children popping in and out. When I married Bentzy’s brother there were still many things Bentzy needed to learn how to deal with.” He struggled with things like a break in his routine a less structured environment and people touching his things. “Even though Bentzy was a 21-year-old adult he was being treated like one of the children ” Shaindy recalls.

A year ago however a self-advocacy program was launched at Bentzy’s school a renowned special-education institution in Jerusalem called Seeach Sod. As the program progressed the family saw dramatic changes in Bentzy’s behavior. “For example he now prepares everything for the different family members when they come to visit ” says Shaindy who is a special-education teacher and administrator. “He straightens the rooms makes the beds and provides extra pillows and towels.”

Not only do these actions make him feel capable they also earn him the respect of the family which in turn teaches him to respect himself more. Bentzy also knows a lot more about what he is — and isn’t — capable of.

“He knows he’s great with babies but that he can’t change diapers” Shaindy says. “He teaches the little ones not to hit and tells them they have to share. He sets the table cuts up the salad. He gets himself dressed now. These new behaviors endear him to his family and bring him a new level of independence. He feels great about himself.”

What is perhaps most remarkable is that no one worked directly with Bentzy on these specific skills. “The changes” says Shaindy “are due to the way Bentzy sees himself. He’s a person he’s capable he contributes. The ability to do these things may have been there before but the self-advocacy program brought out his potential.”