In the last two parshiyos several ideas really hit home.

In Parshas Va’eira 7:3: “Va’ani aksheh es lev Pharoh I will harden Pharaoh’s heart …”

Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch: “aksheh in reference to Pharaoh’s heart we find three expressions aksheh achbed ahchazek. 1) [kuf-shin-hey] kasheh to be hard altogether not to receive impressions to let everything pass over one without making any impression. 2) [chaf-veis-dalet] caved heavy one can receive impressions but there can be a big gap between the impression and the moment one lets oneself be guided by this impression heavy difficult to move to set in motion. But even if it takes a lot of effort this moment can be reached but 3) [ches-zayin-kuf] chazek firm consciously opposes any pliancy any submission. Even the impression is completely lost as far as any consequences go.”

In Parshas Bo 12:5: “Your lamb [seh tamim] shall be complete without blemish …”

Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch: “Tamim the complete surrender of the whole of oneself in every direction and in every connection is the first and basic essential of any and every korban of any and every attempt to get nearer to G-d just as the preliminary condition for the covenant of Avraham was his’halech lifanai v’hayah tamim [walk before Me and be perfect Bereishis 17:1].

“Giving up to G-d one’s former life or the life one has hitherto lived shechitas korban is never an act of destruction of annihilation it is always only the essential preliminary to achieving through G-d a higher state of existence.” (pgs. 133-134 ibid)

Often we can get into this attitude of “look how much I’ve sacrificed for …” Fill in the blanks. For our spouse for our children for our families and yes for G-d. But as the very word for sacrifice korban from the root karev (to bring close or be close) indicates making a sacrifice and being a sacrifice — if we do it properly — has only positive connotations. That “complete surrender of the whole of oneself in every direction and in every connection” brings us closer to G-d and ultimately to ourselves. Though often we may feel that our sacrifices distance us from ourselves — “How much am I taking away from ‘me’ in order to give to others?” — but in giving to others I am ultimately giving to myself as well. Which again is “the first and basic essential of any and every korban of any and every attempt to get nearer to G-d.”

And often in giving to myself I am giving to others as well. Each of us needs “me” time because properly done “me” time becomes “You” time.

It’s like giving tzedakah. True that coin or bill is no longer in our pocket. But what we have “purchased” with it the mitzvah of tzedakah is. And it can’t be lost as physical currency can.

What’s an “impression”? It’s not only “a strong effect produced on the intellect feelings conscience etc. ” it’s also “a mark indentation figure etc. produced by pressure.” A physical imprint left on something after something else touches it hard enough to leave a mark. If we’re soft to begin with it doesn’t take much to leave an impression. If we’re iron or steel almost nothing can touch us and that which does has to be very strong stronger than we are. If we’re diamonds nothing can scratch us but another diamond.

I’m looking out my window at the snow and rain and ice that’s coveringJerusalemat this moment. Easiest to make an impression on water like the ripple effect. A little more pressure for snow. And hard to make an impression on ice.

Softhearted vs. hardhearted. Easier to make an impression on something soft. Coldhearted vs.warmhearted. Easier to make an impression on something warm.

In his Or Yahel Rav Yehudah Leib Chasman asks: What use was it going to Pharaoh after Hashem hardened his heart? Was there anyone there to speak to? (Parshas Bo)

In explaining Rav Chasman brings a mashal about two people who can’t see. However one is blind and the other only has his eyes covered in fact has covered them himself and it’s in his power to remove the covering and see.

Don’t we all harden our own hearts sometimes? Being unwilling to “see” and thereby making ourselves unable to see? Not letting anything in being so hard that even the strongest impressions take ages make a dent? Refusing to let anything touch us?

Pharaoh could remove his blinders and likewise we each have the power to remove the locks and coverings from our hearts and to “see”… and to get close. To “sacrifice” ourselves.

We can decide to harden our hearts decide not to let anything touch us decide we’ve sacrificed enough … but if we do that we miss out on becoming tamim miss out on getting close or closer to G-d. We miss out on becoming the best “us” we can be.