“He who spills human blood shall have his own blood spilled by man for G-d made man b’tzelem Elokim in His own image” (Bereishis 9:6).

“Rabi Akiva explained (Bereishis Rabbah parshah 17) that anyone who spills blood is considered to have minimized the tzelem Elokim… ‘He who spills human blood shall have his own blood spilled by man.’ Why is that? ‘Because Hashem created man b’tzelem Elokim in His own image.’ ” What did Rabi Akiva add to what the pasuk itself says [by telling us] that a person who kills another person removes from the world a person created in Hashem’s image?

We can understand that the reducing of the tzelem Elokim isn’t referring to the person murdered but rather to the murderer as the act of murder reduces the murderer’s tzelem Elokim.

The Nefesh HaChaim (1:3) says that tzelem Elokim is manifested in the way a person behaves and is not an “image” of the tangibility of Hashem Who has no image whatsoever. Reducing the tzelem Elokim applies to all one’s behaviors….

Hashem created man to benefit other creatures and if he’s arrogant or has other bad middos he reduces the image Hashem wants him to project. (Meirosh Amanah Rav Elazar Menachem Man Shach) $c$

I’ve been wondering what the secret of a good mother is.

One who holds and loves educates and supports who doesn’t pressure yet doesn’t give up one who isn’t probing yet isn’t distant. This good mother can listen to and understand even the most irritating stories love even the most disappointing children; and can also make mistakes — yes so many mistakes — yet still remain a good mother to her children.

It makes no difference if her supper sometimes burns or greasy handprints are on her windows. Perhaps her children earn less than perfect grades or have a stain on their clothes. She’s still the best mother.

This mother will also be a good wife neighbor daughter and sister. On one condition: that she’s pleased with herself!

That’s it. That’s the small simple secret.

If a mother is happy with herself if deep inside she succeeds in connecting with her inner being in unhesitatingly criticizing herself yet thinking that she’s still a good person then she really is.

If despite everything she hasn’t done and hasn’t become despite everything she didn’t receive or wasn’t able to do (her mother was always nervous her father didn’t know how to compliment …) despite the myriad mistakes she’s made the places she’s stumbled and all the things she’s not great at (dancing making petit fours) if she still thinks she’s good then she really is.

If she succeeds in making peace with the difficulties she’s faced if she’s capable of appreciating herself for the challenges she’s overcome for the accomplishments she’s achieved and the efforts she’s made if she can truly love herself and find all her good points and tell herself all the positive encouraging lines no one else ever wanted to tell her then she can be good.

If she feels she has a tzelem Elokim and that the character traits and strengths of the Creator are contained within her then she will act accordingly.

… if we delve even further we will see that a person who influences others by the power of his personal example and good behavior fulfills the tzelem Elokim in the sense that he is also similar to HaKadosh Baruch Hu Who influences and teaches His creations…

This knowledge that one is created in the tzelem Elokim is a great obligation. (ibid.)

If we believe we were created in the tzelem Elokim and we have wonderful strengths and a tremendous ability to give to others no one can stop us. No familial or personal failure annoying comment from a neighbor or lunch the children didn’t like can dim this belief.

If we believe in ourselves appreciate ourselves and see Hashem reflected in our image — how good we can be how much love and attention we can bestow how much we can respect each person —then not only are we worried about the tzelem Elokim of the other person but the tzelem Elokim within us grows.

And we ourselves become a clear reflection of Hashem.