Somehow, the children look as if the instruments they’re playing suit them. How were the selections made, when there are so many options?

According to Rabbi Ross, many parents automatically gravitate toward guitar and piano. That’s unfortunate, he says, because those instruments have a high rate of failure for young learners; there is too much groundwork before the child plays “real music.” Trumpet, flute, and saxophone are initially far easier to master. The child can learn one note at a time and feel like he’s making strides and “getting out there.”

He adds that ideally the choice of instrument should be personality based, so the young musician enjoys it. “Kids who don’t have a lot of zitzfleish don’t usually have the patience to sit at a piano,” he explains. “Very bright kids who like to move around can do great on a guitar, and the ones who require instant gratification can thrive on wind or brass instruments. If your child likes to bang on things, drums are a great remedy.”

Practice Makes Perfect

Another perceived obstacle to frum musical ambitions is time, or rather the lack of it. A typical yeshivah boy has a school day extending to 5 or 6 p.m., as well as davening, learning, and homework. It’s common knowledge that frum boys have little time for sports, reading, or leisure, so when do the Ross children find the time for music lessons and practice?

“School alone is hard work,” says Moshe. “Then, we always have to do our homework and chavrusa time. On the nights when we have music lessons, it’s on the schedule. Otherwise, once we’re done with homework, showering, and whatever else has to get done, we can practice.”

Reisy Ross is the one who juggles their music lesson timetable — a super-complicated scheduling feat since the lessons all take place in the same room; studying the finer points of piano theory while your brother is blowing his trumpet would be difficult, to say the least.  Trickiest of all is finding the necessary time slots for the family to rehearse together.

Once the songs for a performance are selected, the musical arrangements are written by Avremi G. Rabbi Ross explains that when his son Avi became bar mitzvah, they decided the band needed musical scores for the songs. They contacted Avremi G., and since the top-flight arranger and producer has gotten involved, the Rock Mishpacha sound has been transformed to a new level of professionalism.

After the arrangements are uploaded onto iPads, today’s version of sheet music and music stands, the musicians practice separately and as a band. In addition, Baruch says, “We practice with random siblings pretty frequently.” Sunday nights, when everyone has more free time, are an easy choice for a group rehearsal. In the summer, the entire clan can be found rehearsing in the basement music room on those long Friday afternoons. “Once we begin practicing, time flies because it’s so much fun!” Yehuda says.

Having grown up across a suburban street from a child who played the drums, I’m wondering how the family copes with the noise level of living with a developing percussionist. “I have an electric drum set so my parents can keep their sanity,” Baruch explains. The set can be plugged into his headphones for daily practice, or into the amplifier for Rock Mishpacha rehearsals.

Batsheva chimes in on how the children get their daily practice time without being nagged. “Our parents don’t tell us to practice much. We just have music playing in the house all the time. It gets us excited, so we practice. As we get better at reading notes, practicing becomes easier. I think violin is the hardest. When I play a wrong note, everyone covers their ears.”

Out-of-Tune Myths

Sometimes, parents entertain fond visions of their youngster as a violin virtuoso, until they become aware that he’s belting out his beloved Uncle Moishy songs totally off-key. At that point, their dreams bite the dust and they seek other avenues for his success. But Rabbi Ross says that almost any child can be taught to play an instrument.

“It’s a common myth that children need to be musical in order to play music. I’m not even 100 percent sure what the word ‘musical’ means. My kids all sing on-key, but not everyone is a ‘wonderchild.’ Even if a child is completely tone-deaf, he can still play an instrument. The only time there would be an issue is if the child can’t keep a beat, and I’ve never met a child like that. I’ve also never met a person that regretted learning how to play music.”

In Concert

During the past year, offers for performing at events have become more frequent, but they don’t accept them all. Rabbi Ross says the family sits down together to discuss each offer’s merits.

“Anything that will affect yeshivah won’t work,” says Baruch, “and we don’t usually play late nights.” He adds that concerts are easier than simchahs, because they’ll usually play for only an hour or two.

Everyone seems to enjoy the experience of performing, including the preparations. “Avremi G. is a lot of fun to work with, since he lets us be involved in the arranging process,” says Binyamin Zev. “For example, at the set for Avi’s bar mitzvah, Mordechai and I came up with a cool horn riff for “Lo Yimalet,” and he put it into the arrangement. Baruch had a special drum concept, and he put that in also. Avremi has come to our house to jam with us, and he also once came to a kumzitz that my father arranged for his class.”

Apparently, though, preparing for a gig can also be a distraction. For example, says Rabbi Ross, he’s currently busy reviewing all the songs for their Chol Hamoed Pesach event instead of completing the sixth chapter of the book he’s reading about bass guitar.

The money Rock Mishpacha earns from performances mainly goes into a special account for lessons and equipment, although each of the boys gets to keep a little. Usually, whoever practices more receives a bigger percentage.

Meet Rock MISHPACHA

Abba: keyboard and bass

Binyamin Zev, 16: tenor sax (used to be alto sax)

Baruch, 15: drums

Avi, 14: guitar

Mordechai, 13: trumpet

Moshe, 11: flute and piano

Yehuda, 9: alto sax and piano

Batsheva, 7: violin and guitar

Dovid Mendel, 4: piano

Miriam, 2: TBA

Music Lessons

Some good things are contagious; apparently, music is one of them. Rabbi Ross is thrilled about the impact his children’s playing is having on many other families, who have chosen to pursue music lessons after seeing the Rosses perform. “The most common feedback we receive is that other parents have started teaching their kids an instrument. Usually, they see their kids’ enjoyment and self-esteem blossom. The kids gain a great outlet, without having to resort to electronics, and learn to express themselves in a positive way. They also learn patience.”

Speaking of patience, with so many Ross siblings in the same room, it seems there have to be some arguments. And what about sibling rivalry? Who gets more solos? Who chose the songs last time? Who’s playing too loudly or too fast?

“Not really,” Avi says. “We argue about lots of things, but music isn’t one of them. Binyamin Zev controls the notes, so we play whatever he pulls up. We do have the typical volume discussions, because when Baruch gets a little loud, I need to pump up the guitar and everyone starts raising the volume. Eventually, the house begins to shake.”

Rabbi Ross adds that the necessity for cooperation is one of the chief benefits of a sibling band. “When my kids are practicing, they need to work together or it’ll sound noisy and horrible. Also, there are many spots where the musician has to stop so others can lead and segments where the music sounds awful until another musician joins in, which then creates a beautiful harmony.”

Because music has an intense power, it demands precautions. Rabbi and Mrs. Ross select their children’s music carefully; they don’t leave it up to the boys’ non-Jewish music teachers. “It has to be in line with the way we want to raise our bnei Torah,” says Rabbi Ross. “I know of a family that allowed the son to get guitar lessons and gave him unlimited access to any music he wanted. He became infatuated with heavy metal. Although he became an amazing guitarist, his personality changed dramatically. Today, they’re having a very rough time.

“As parents, Reisy and I are careful to keep the kids grounded. We don’t let the kids read most of the fan e-mails they get, and we make sure they understand that everything is from Hashem, and it’s our job to utilize our talents to spread happiness.”

Flattered as they were to receive a call from a recruiter from “America’s Got Talent,” declining was a no-brainer for Rabbi and Mrs. Ross.

Final Notes

Unlike a lot of frum families whose kids play their favorite Jewish songs by ear, Rabbi Ross believes in teaching children music the “real” way, by reading notes. “This made practicing together very frustrating for the first few years,” recalls Binyamin Zev. But the persistence paid off. Time and practice have made them fluent sight readers, who can open up the music on their iPads and play any song together. “Now that we can sight read, we’re also allowed to play by ear. For example,” he explains, “during a song, some of us will play our own version of the melody during a solo.”

Rock Mishpacha doesn’t have just one star vocalist; instead, the group usually incorporates several voices into each song. Mordechai points out that the changing voices are a challenge. The singing can’t be prepared too much in advance for any of the teen band members. In fact, at Avi’s bar mitzvah, the solos had to be changed when his voice dropped by six full notes in less than a month! Last minute key transitions were made by Avremi G.

Of course, everyone messes up sometimes, and the family tries to keep mistakes in perspective. Avi says, “It’s fine. We’re learning things. But we’ll probably still make mistakes even if we become professionals. I once had my pick fall into the guitar right at the beginning of an event, and I didn’t have an extra one. I had to use my fingers and it really hurt. I always keep extra ones with me since then.”

One of the family’s special joys is performing the songs their parents grew up with. They recently ran a contest on their website that featured 25 intros from those classics, giving entrants a chance to win up to $2,500 in prize money. But whether it’s an “oldie” from yesteryear or this season’s latest hit, one thing is certain: The Ross mishpachah will be rocking the frum music world for some time to come.

(Originally Featured in Mishpacha, Issue 757)