My son had a friend sleep over the other night. After offering him eight or so options for what he’d like to drink or eat before he left he finally agrees to a hot chocolate.

Why I work so hard to not let him leave without food aside from basic hospitality is because I keep thinking of the story of the eglah arufah (the calf atonement brought after a body is found outside a city). How we’re all blamed for letting someone go on their way including our family members without seeing them off properly. Such things always come back to haunt us.

Like you send everyone out huffing and puffing and an hour later the school calls: so-and-so is being sent home. Or so-and-so has no lunch; could you send someone with it?

So I gladly went to make the hot chocolate but soon found I had no hot chocolate mix. No problem I’ll make it out of sugar and real cocoa powder. Then I open the fridge to pour the milk. No milk.

End of hot chocolate story.

I send the boy off with a bag of grapes and water.

After this friend leaves I’m about to wash out the cup with the milkless hot chocolate when I say to myself I’ll drink it. At least it’s already made and hot. Really special. Hits the spot. And I think about how things always come back to you for better or for worse. This time it was for better.

Yesterday it was for worse.

I had a critical day. Meaning I was critical in my heart about something. About someone.

But more than I said I thought.

While the thought was with me I made a call to share my “constructive” advice.

About two minutes later if not less I got a “constructive” advice call back. Boom.

It hit and it hurt.

Although it was also just one of those little tips of constructive advice. Tips with major icebergs hiding beneath.

I went for a walk.

On the walk I thought about why I got this boom. Actually I already knew why but the walk helped me admit it.

How many times does person get a ticket because they just parked for a second to run in and get something? They blame the policeman the whole government. They blame everyone but themselves. The truth is what I had to say might have been true and maybe could have used a little direction. But it was the place where that advice came from.

The place of criticism. People can feel that place. Even if it’s camouflaged they feel when advice is launched from … kindness or anger.

I witnessed it the other day. Two brothers have a business together. One morning one wakes up late. The other lets him know it the whole day. “You woke up late you ruined the day. Now we’re behind because of you ...”

The next morning that brother wakes up late. His alarm clock didn’t go off. What and how you throw out there comes right back.

The Boomerang Effect.