“With the help of Hashem Yisbarach we are happy to invite you to participate in the wedding of …” We peruse the invitation note the date and the venue and then carefully check the time: “Chuppah at 6:30.” Accordingly we arrive at the wedding early — at 7:45.

This is early? Is this not a rude display of bad manners? Not at all. If we arrive over one hour after the stated time we will in all likelihood be early and will still have a 30-minute wait for the wedding. For every sentient Israeli knows that the proper translation of “Chuppah at 6:30” is: “Chuppah perhaps at 8.” I have often wondered if this deliberate misrepresentation of time is not disrespectful of the same Hashem Yisbarach Who sanctifies time (Mekadesh hazmanim) and to Whom token obeisance is invoked on every wedding invitation.

Some actually arrive in good faith at the stated hour frittering away the time in idle chitchat ingesting endless meatballs and cakes and imbibing a cascading flow of drinks — all while the minutes tick away. When one calculates the amount of time wasted as we wait for the chuppah to begin the total is staggering. Consider: if 200 people wait 90 minutes the aggregate total of squandered time comes to a mind-boggling 300 hours.

Why should this be so? Why should weddings (and bar mitzvah celebrations and the like) not begin at the stated time? Why the charade of announcing a time that everyone knows is misleading? This universal Israeli habit (and also in New York and other major cities around the world) reflects an inordinate disregard for the most valuable commodity we possess: time. After all how much food can the digestive system consume while waiting for the distinguished rosh yeshivah or the uncle from Haifa or the zeideh from Bnei Brak or the brother-in-law from Connecticut to appear?

Of the numerous weddings I have attended in Jerusalem during the past 20 years one in particular stands out. The invitation stated clearly that the chuppah would take place bediyuk (precisely) at 6:30. The father of the bride had verbally informed everyone he knew that the wedding would actually and definitely begin on time. No one believed him. (They obviously translated the anagram of bediyuk as Biz Die Yidden Vellen Kummen (“until the Jews show up”). At 6:30 on the wedding night barely a minyan of guests was present. But the father insisted that the wedding begin. People began trickling in after seven when the chuppah was about to end. They protested to the father: “Why did you start so early?”

“I did not start early. The invitation said 6:30.”

“But it’s only 7:15 now and the wedding is over.”

“I’m really sorry” smiled the father “but as you say it is now 7:15 and we began at 6:30 bediyuk.”

As rabbi in Atlanta Georgia for 40 years I officiated at hundreds of weddings. They all began at the announced time. Since everyone knew that we began promptly no one was ever deliberately late. The late-start syndrome is simply a bad habit and bad habits need to be wrestled with and defeated.

If there is a dearth of courageous wedding families then perhaps the leading rabbis could step into the breach. They frequently admonish their followers about the evils of bitul zman — wasting precious time and where is there more of this than at unpunctual weddings? If the rabbis themselves would refuse to officiate at weddings that are preprogrammed to start long past the stated hour that would be even more effective.

Many people no longer make the effort to be present at the chuppah. Although they want to hear the brachos and to respond Amen yatza secharo b’hefsedo — they aren’t sure if the mitzvah is worth the price of bitul zman. So they appear after the dinner begins wish mazel tov to the baalei simchah perhaps participate in a dance and then leave. Granted in the States such behavior would be considered offensive but this is perfectly de rigueur in Israel and until bad habits change or Messiah arrives — probably the latter prior to the former — more and more guests will be doing this. It won’t change any ingrained bad habits but at the very least it will save endless hours of precious time.

Obviously of course with the help of Hashem Yisbarach …