Really both sides were looking for some sort of resolution. With all the media hype about religious-secular tensions was it possible to find some common ground for peaceful discussion?

We all know that the chareidi community has been under attack by the media for the past several weeks not only in Israel but around the world. Last week Mishpacha organized and published a thought-provoking PR panel that sought answers to the problem of our bad public image. The diverse blend of public relations experts raised many points worth pondering many suggestions on how to extricate ourselves from the bind we’re in – which seems that no matter what we say or do we can’t win; the media will keep on painting an ugly distorted image of us and displaying it to the world.

One suggestion that came up repeatedly in the course of the discussion was that we don’t necessarily have to grapple directly with the media but should try instead to initiate dialogue with our ideological opponents behind closed doors with the aim of understanding each other’s position and reaching practical agreements that will enable us to live side by side in peace despite the impossibility of agreeing on the issues.

Over the years I’ve been privileged to participate in dialogues of this nature which afforded an opportunity to discover the real source of friction between the chareidi and secular communities in Israel what it is that really bothers them.

The first such dialogue took place while I was editor-in-chief of the Hebrew Yated Neeman during its first three fledgling years. The secular media had launched a smear campaign that focused on a series of incidents in which bus-stop shelters were set on fire because of the ads they featured with pictures of women. Unnamed sikrikim were blamed for the burnings although in fact no arrests were made and there is some substance to the rumor that in several cases irreligious Jews set the fires in order to create a sensation.

In response hooligans set fire to a shul in a neighborhood in Tel Aviv populated by Gerrer Chassidim.

The next day while the shock of the anti-Semitic attack was still reverberating Knesset member Rav Avraham Ravitz z”l received a phone call from a young man whose last name if I remember correctly was Ohr. Mr. Ohr was the director of HaKibbutz HaArtzi an organization including all the kibbutzim of the Shomer HaTzair movement at the extreme left of the political spectrum. The Shomer HaTzair’s anti-religious stance was almost as zealous as that of Communist Russia in its heyday. Mr. Ohr had met Ravitz previously and there was urgency in his voice as he explained the purpose of his call: “This morning I got a call from a member of our kibbutz movement and he sounded overjoyed. ‘Ohr it’s begun!’ he said to me ‘The synagogue they burned yesterday was only the starting signal the first shot in the war against the chareidi clerics.’ I was shocked ” he told Rabbi Ravitz. “I’m seeing visions of pogroms chalilah like inPoland andRussia. We’ve got to call a meeting between you chareidim and us the representatives of the leftist kibbutzim and talk about what we can do to prevent this.”

Ravitz called a number of people myself among them and asked them to come and meet with what was then the most extreme element of the Israeli left. Of course before committing myself I consulted with Rav Shach ztz”l. He encouraged me to go. We had a series of meetings which took place alternately on our home turf and on theirs. It was an interesting experience. Sparks flew naturally as the energy fields of the two ends of the Israeli social spectrum clashed like combustible elements. But the overall spirit was positive as each side strove to hammer out a statement of mutual dedication to the common good to be presented to the public in the hope of restoring peace.

In the end all our sincere efforts bore no fruit. At a certain point leading figures in Mapam the semi-communist United Workers’ Party of which our kibbutznik friends were loyal members ordered them to cease fraternizing with the chareidim. Their liberal attitudes faded away when the fear arose that their finest youths might be led to ruin — that is to do teshuvah — by contact with young chareidim.

And so our talks came to an end. One young lady however actually did do teshuvah as a result of participating in those meetings. Nobody had said a word to her about becoming religious. All we had talked about was how frum and secular communities could live side by side in peace.

Years later I had another opportunity to meet with the other side. This time the commotion was over the demonstrations onBar Ilan StreetinJerusalem demanding that the street be closed to traffic on Shabbos. The situation had gotten out of hand and the demonstrations featuring stone-throwing and furious confrontations both with the police and with secular citizens who weren’t about to give in to chareidi extremism were triggering tensions all over the country.

Then a group of concerned citizens called “Tzav Piyus” managed to organize a series of private meetings between chareidi askanim and representatives of the aggressively anti-religious Meretz movement. Once a week we met and although at first the atmosphere was decidedly hostile with time constructive dialogue began to flow. Both sides wanted an end to the conflict and agreements were reached. An emergency hotline was set up to allow vehicles through Bar Ilan Street in cases of urgent need[YL1] . The agreements between the sides were drawn up into recommendations that were brought to the municipal authorities and gradually a new political reality took the place of the chaos that had reigned before.

Distinguished rabbanim were in attendance at these meetings as well as community figures from the world of chinuch and the teshuvah movement. As we set out to sit at the negotiating table with our ideological adversaries the entire delegation received this brachah from Rav Elyashiv shlita: “May the Name of Heaven become beloved through you.”

We soon discovered just how significant that brachah was as we talked with the other side and discovered what really made us such a threat in their eyes. The chief question they had for us was “When you people the chareidim become the majority in Israel due to your population growth and you take over the government what it in store for us the chilonim?” They were (and still are today) actually picturing an Iranian-style regime under chareidi rule with Sabbath-breakers subjected to public execution and harsh corporal punishments meted out to people found guilty of offenses against morality. We could hardly believe our ears; we just sat there aghast as this question came up repeatedly at one meeting after another. Until then we hadn’t realized just how deep their fear of us ran. It went a long way toward explaining the animosity they seemed to nurture against all frum people. It was all contingent upon fear and this realization certainly made it easier to view them with more understanding.

It was also an intriguing question in its own right. How indeed would we treat Shabbos desecrators if we should ever become the dominant political force in Israelbefore the coming of Mashiach and the restoration of the Davidic dynasty? Would we have batei din with the authority to judge such cases? I actually went and asked one of Jerusalem’s great Torah scholars about this. Next week im yirtzeh Hashem I will discuss his answer to the question and I’ll also tell you about the third and most fascinating meeting of all — the one that took place totally under cover with the most strident enemies of Torah Judaism — the Knesset faction of Tommy Lapid’s Shinui Party.