“Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and to weep for her.”

(Bereishis 23:2)

The mefarshim ask: Why is the word “livkosa­ — to weep for her” written with a small kaf? Furthermore why does the Torah first state “to eulogize Sarah” and then “to weep for her?” Tears usually precede the eulogies.

Pirkei D’Rabi Eliezer explains: After the Akeidah the Satan came to Sarah and told her “Sarah your husband took Yitzchak and offered him as a sacrifice.” She immediately began to cry and her soul departed. Avraham then came from Mount Moriah and discovered that she had died.

Why did the Satan want to bother Sarah after Avraham had already withstood the test of the Akeidah? (Koheles Yitzchak cited by Lekach Tov)

Tonight? Yup. Tonight. Without the kids? You got it. Do we really have to be there? You’d better believe it.

I took a deep breath. Of all days I now have to head out to the wedding of some long-forgotten relative of my mother-in-law’s whom I’ve never even heard of!

Why? Because my mother-in-law asked each of her children to attend — with their spouses without their kids.

Tonight!

I had plans for tonight! But kibud av v’eim comes first. Honoring my husband comes first. With a sigh I kissed my list of plans goodbye and resigned myself to do her bidding.

Ten phone calls finally led me to one babysitter. I left my tornado-ravaged house feeling frazzled and disoriented. Yet I was patting myself on the back. I had risen to the occasion and was on my way to perform several important mitzvos including bringing joy to a chassan and kallah!

Feeling very good about myself I entered the reception hall scanning the small crowd for familiar faces. After several minutes of searching I finally spotted my mother-in-law and … one sister-in-law.

An ugly suspicion filtered inside me.

Where was everybody? I posed the question to my mother-in-law who wrinkled her forehead and shrugged “Well no one else was able to make it …”

Man is rewarded for every mitzvah. Even if he sins he will not lose this reward but will receive a separate punishment. Yet when man regrets his mitzvos he doesn’t receive reward for the mitzvah. Just as in the case of repentance where regret erases the sin entirely so too if one regrets his mitzvah it’s considered as if he never did it.

Thus if after performing a mitzvah a person experiences disgrace or financial loss he should know that this is the way of the yetzer hara. If he didn’t succeed in preventing the performance of the mitzvah he then endeavors to cause man to regret the good deed afterward and thus lose his reward.

You’re a loooseeerr! Everyone else invented a lame excuse and got out of this night. Only you were naive enough to believe her to give up your night and pay for a babysitter!

I ate my heart out together with the roast in mushroom sauce. It tasted awful. Scorched.

I’ve burned my mitzvah.

Those who perform mitzvos are faced with two challenges: The first is before fulfillment (when the Satan endeavors to prevent the actual performance of the mitzvah) the second challenge is after he’s overcome his inclination and has performed the mitzvah. Then the Satan comes to cause him to regret the mitzvah and uproot it retroactively.

We find that both of these challenges were present at the time of Akeidas Yitzchak. While they journeyed to the Akeidah the Satan presented them with myriad challenges to delay them. Once the mitzvah was performed he tried to cause Avraham to regret the mitzvah.

By killing Sarah the yetzer hara was certain that Avraham would regret the Akeidah. Yet Avraham withstood this test as well. He eulogized her and wept minimally (as seen from the word livkosa which is written with a small kaf) as he understood that if he would cry too much it would seem that he regretted the Akeidah. Furthermore he first eulogized Sarah by telling of her good deeds this was his primary reaction.

It’s all a continuation of the same nisayon. The yetzer hara is still battling. Your victory was too great for him to bear and he’ll do everything in his power to erase this merit.

Don’t let him do it. You triumphed once. Triumph again. Don’t regret the mitzvah! Not now. Not ever.

The dessert tasted delicious. I was glad I had come. It took a great deal of effort on my part to attend this wedding and there was no way I was going home without this mitzvah in my pocket.

And what about all my sisters-in-law who didn’t attend? Their loss.

I ate my heart out together with the roast in mushroom sauce