Yom Kippur: One Step Forward
| October 5, 2011If Yom Kippur were the only mitzvah in the Torah it would be sufficient for us to recognize the divinity of the Torah. Such an awesome day could not possibly have been created by human beings!
The sanctity of the day is so great that it eradicates all willful and inadvertent sins as long as the person desires that with all his heart. Even the sins from which we cannot imagine how we could possibly free ourselves are erased. If we believe that Hashem will save us from these sins and if we serve Him from the depths of our hearts then there can be no doubt that our teshuvah will be accepted!
Let’s not think that we are unable to reach repentance. Let’s not despair of teshuvah when we see that every year after Yom Kippur we lapse into sin once again.” (Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe Alei Shur vol. 1 p. 45)
Even if I do teshuvah for everything how can Hashem testify that I will never repeat my sins? Logically it seems that I will return to them. Of course I don’t want to but it would take an open miracle. So ... why should I do teshuvah?”
A person doesn’t make progress overnight. How can we hope never to repeat a sin?
The Mabit ztz”l reveals the following two principles in his sefer Beis Elokim:
1. Now that we have established that the essence of teshuvah is regretting and giving up our past misdeeds we must go on to explain that these requirements are not like other mitzvos. A person who neglects part of another mitzvah receives no reward for it at all. With regard to teshuvah however even if it’s not complete consisting of both regret for the past and not returning to the sin in the future nevertheless regret alone without abandoning the sin is partially effective as is abandoning the sin without actually regretting it. (ibid.)
If we eat thousands of macaroons on Pesach but also a tiny drop of chometz — it’s not considered Pesach. A succah filled with breathtaking decorations but whose s’chach is invalid is not a succah.
Teshuvah is also a clearly defined process with specific halachic steps but its fulfillment is different. Teshuvah is accepted even if we take two steps forward and one step backward; it’s still considered teshuvah.
2. We must explain what happens when a person repents every year and then returns to his previous sins. Should we say that this indicates that his repentance was not complete? From the words of our Sages it appears that once a person has repented for the sins he committed and resolved not to repeat them Hashem erases his sins as a result of that teshuvah. If he returns to his sins afterward it is simply the yetzer hara enticing him anew to return to his previous sins but the sins he committed earlier are not reinstated; they were nullified by his previous teshuvah.
During Yom Kippur a piercing regret sliced through your heart. At that moment of purity you never wanted to commit that sin again.
At that moment you did teshuvah!
No human being can give expression to the power of that moment the exalted purity that came upon your soul. You were cleansed tears flowing from your eyes as you whispered promises that you would never sin again — promises! And that whisper reverberated up in Heaven as a thunderous voice and your teshuvah was accepted.
You became completely purified and you returned.
A person who attains a fragment of the essence of Yom Kippur will emerge from it like a new creation. He will begin his life anew and his aspirations in life will be radically altered. The light of Yom Kippur will shine and straighten out everything that became twisted.
Do not worry about tomorrow. The sin has been removed from you.
But what if ... what if ... the yetzer hara comes back and tempts me again? What if it confuses me and closes the shutters on that great light?
Then we will start again from the beginning. It will be a new accounting. It will have no connection to the sins for which you have already atoned.
I am doing teshuvah now and no one can dampen my pure desire — not even that yetzer hara who I hope will not ensnare me in the coming year.
For now I am clean.
Even if I do teshuvah for everything how can Hashem testify that I will never repeat my sins? Logically it seems that I will return to them
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