Women share the medical advice that they still repeat

“If she can smile, she’s okay.”

I knew less than nothing about babies when I had my first. (I’m a youngest; I could have written a teenager’s manual about how to take care of grandparents but had rarely seen babies up close.) When my oldest baby had her first bad cold, I went along to our wonderful pediatrician in Sanhedria in Yerushalayim. He easily got the baby to smile at him, then explained that if she was smiling and responsive, it was clear she wasn’t seriously unwell. That has guided me through so many baby illnesses.

R.W.

“Six children is a lot. You have a lot going on. Don’t only look at women who are doing more than you.”

Run-down and overwhelmed. Dealing with anxious, panicky thoughts, and then with a virus that made me dizzy even when I lay in bed. Seven months after my sixth child was born, I was struggling and couldn’t recognize myself. My GP reframed my life and made it clear that I wasn’t struggling “just to function with the basics.” I had a demanding and active life that meant I had to take care of myself properly.

P.G.

“When your child is hungry, they will ask for food.”

Once, when I was complaining to my doctor that my daughter wasn’t eating properly, he told me the following: “Bamba is also a food. Don’t worry, when she’s hungry she’ll let you know. It might be during bedtime, which you won’t like, but she’ll ask, so don’t force-feed her.” I’ve calmed myself with that many times over the years. When a child is genuinely hungry, they will instinctively ask for food.

L.M.

“You shouldn’t be going to the bris! You need to have energy for the rest of them!”

I was an oldest, raised in a very close-knit, old-style community. I remember walking along the street to my firstborn’s bris, when we met our frum family doctor. “Where are you going?” he asked me.

“To the bris,” I said. True, in our community, mothers usually didn’t go to brissin, but I was from a new generation, I was young, and I wanted to go.

He shook his head. “You shouldn’t be going to the bris! You need to have energy to have a large family!” I still went, and I went to all my later sons’ brissin, but I heard his message loud and clear. Pushing oneself and trying to quickly return to normal and be out and about after birth isn’t a good idea. Better to give myself time and rest, avoid unnecessary strain and effort, and conserve my energies for my recovery and my family.

G.C.

“Outdoor exercise and fresh air, even in the winter, is the number-one help for keeping strong and emotionally healthy.”

Yep, even in the winter! It can be hard to find the time, but I know a brisk walk outdoors resets my mind and mood.

C.B.

“Brush your teeth after taking Vitamin C, because the acid eats away your teeth.”

It’s not only candy that affects your teeth! Keep brushing.

D.R.

“When you have small kids, you’re allowed to rely on malachim.”

You can’t watch your babies every single second of the day. Especially mischievous toddlers. Since you can’t wrap them in bubble wrap, you just have to do your best and then rely on malachim to watch over them....

R.M.

“Buckle your baby!”

The first time I took my first baby to my pediatrician, he smiled down at my newborn, all cozy in his Doona, then said, “Can I ask you for a personal favor? Please — whenever you put him in his Doona or carriage, even if it’s just for two minutes, even if you’re just home, please, please, buckle him in. For me. I’ve seen too many accidents that happened when a baby wasn’t buckled in.”

I’ve never forgotten what he said, how
sincerely he meant it — or to buckle in my
baby.

H.T.

“Vitamins are a good supplement, but they can’t replace sleep!”

Obvious, right? Why did I think I could sleep five-and-a-half hours a night, work and take care of my family, and just pop a multivitamin for strength and energy and stamina?

L.N.

“Skip the strep culture if they’re coughing.”

My pediatrician told me that if someone’s throat hurts and they’re also coughing, it’s very rarely strep — strep does not come with a cough.

M.G.

“When you’re worried about a rash, press on it.”

If you’re worried about a rash, press down on the skin. If the rash blanches (i.e., if it fades or disappears) you probably have nothing to worry about. If it doesn’t, get it checked out.

T.P.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 977)