I am definitely going to be Thirty and Tired

MY 30th birthday is just around the corner. It’s more unsettling than I care to admit.

As a teen, I didn’t understand why people dreaded milestone birthdays. Now I get it. Instead of getting excited, I have to pretend not to care about my upcoming birthday. I wonder if others feel it, too — the quiet panic of approaching 30.

Maybe it’s just me, and the shape my life has taken.

Life hasn’t been going the way I’d pictured it when I was Twenty and Tender, with all my hopes and dreams spread out before me. When I thought I’d be ticking off milestones in the right order.

Thirty is young. But in our society, I am now officially “old.” And that has weathered me more than I expected. I’ll be Thirty and Tough.