I’ve seen many children through toilet training via this method, which I’ve dubbed the TTT method: Toilet Training without Trauma

Looking for a toilet training method that is simple, speedy and sustainable? These straightforward guidelines are based on rules originally devised by Dr. Paul Holland, a UK psychologist and behavioral consultant. For years, I’ve seen many children through toilet training via this method, which I’ve dubbed the TTT method: Toilet Training without Trauma.

BEFORE YOU BEGIN

Make sure that your child is physically ready. The timing of this may vary for different children. Starting before your child is ready will be more difficult and stressful for you, and can traumatize a child and lead to long-term problems like anxiety and bed-wetting. (In the US and UK, a typical age to start is 2.5 years, but this age is rising in the West.)

A key sign that your child is physically ready is when they show discomfort at a dirty diaper. If they show no discomfort, then as a rule they are not physically ready for toilet training! 

Once you have established your child is ready, here goes:

TOILET TRAINING RULES

Take the child to the bathroom every half hour, where they sit for ten whole minutes. This is reinforced throughout the entire day.

Reward the child for every procedure, even if they just sit, thus encouraging the child.

Try to make the procedure as stress-free and pleasant as possible (if it’s horrible, they will avoid or resist going).

A child must know the repercussion after an accident, and a parent must be consistent in enforcing this (note, this does not mean a punishment, but a consequence, such as the child removing wet or soiled clothing and putting them with the dirty laundry).

If the child has an accident, take them to the bathroom, then change them into fresh clothing. Avoid giving negative or positive attention.

KEY POINTS

Make going to the bathroom as safe and pleasant as possible.

Reward the child for just sitting, even if they don’t use the toilet.

EXTRA POINTERS

These will help you set the groundwork before you even begin the process.

When changing diapers, avoid shaming or negative words about your child’s bodily fluids.

Stock up on stacks of underwear and easy-to-change clothes.

Identify a non-stressful time to begin training, when you can devote two to three days to frequently taking your child to the bathroom at home.

Consider whether to get a potty or special seat: They aren’t essential, but a child’s toilet seat can help a kid feel safe. To a kid, the toilet is almost as tall as he is — how would you feel using a toilet that’s your height and big enough to swallow you up?

Buy/prepare some fun stuff to put in the bathroom for your child to enjoy (picture books, musical toys).

Buy/prepare some incentives that you can use as an immediate reward (like stickers for sitting nicely).

Be aware that a child is usually developmentally ready for daytime training before night training.

Be aware that although TTT generally works really quickly (one to two weeks), research shows that, on average, the training process takes three to six months (some estimates put it at over six months), and that even after a child is successfully trained, accidents will probably still happen occasionally.

If toilet training isn’t working, or if a child regresses (with more than an occasional accident) after being trained, there may be an underlying cause, such as a medical issue. Speak to your doctor. Regression can also have an emotional component. If this is the case, a child therapist’s involvement may be helpful.

Still tearing your hair out over toilet training? It can be difficult or frustrating, but it will happen eventually.

Rachel Atkins QTS NPSLBA is a UK government-accredited educator and behavior specialist, a Triple-P Parenting Practitioner, the director of Brilliant Behaviour Ltd, and cofounder of the Bye Bye Bullying Program.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 966)