We continue with the study of Hashem's middos based on the sefer Tomer Devorah

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give lip service to the idea of ahavas Yisrael. The Ramak reminds us what it’s all about. We are all family — sometimes dysfunctional, but family nonetheless. He highlights this in explaining the fourth middah, lish’eiris nachalaso.

“To the remnant of His inheritance” — behold, the Holy One, Blessed be He, acts with His people in this way, saying, “What can I do with Israel? They are My relatives — relation of flesh do I have with them.” As they are the spouse to the Holy One, Blessed be He; and He calls them “My daughter” and “My sister,” “My Mother” — as they, may their memory be blessed, explained (Shir Hashirim Rabbah 3:11:2).

And it is written (Tehillim 148:14), “Israel, His close (kerovo) nation” — He has actual closeness (kirvah) with them, and they are His children. And that is the meaning of the ‘remnant of (she’eiris) His inheritance’ — it is an expression of relation (she’er) of flesh; and in the end, they are His literal inheritance. ‘And what shall I say? If I punish them, behold the pain is upon Me; as it is written (Yeshayahu 63:9): In all their distress, the distress (tsar) was His.’ ”

View other Jews through this lens. Some are very similar to me, and some are very, very different. Many of our biological relatives are very different from us, but does that ever make us question if we are family? Why, then, does another Yid wearing a kippah of a different size — or none at all — so easily make us forget this point?

I heard the mashgiach Rav Wolbe ztz”l say, “Miflagtiut [political partyism] destroyed Klal Yisrael!” From a young age, we are trained in “anash-ism” (anash, an acronym for anshei shlomeinu — “people of our kind”), whether or not our tzibbur uses that term .

Of course, we naturally feel closer to those in our families and communities. But miflagtiut is something else — competition, a zero-sum fight over resources, division driven by politics. This is perhaps worse in Eretz Yisrael than in chutz l’Aretz — not so much a reflection on the Jews of Israel as it is on the local political landscape, among other factors. But to feel a family connection with all Jews, one must break away from this mentality, no matter where one lives.

Rav Avigdor Miller ztz”l said he learned from an adam gadol that the way to work on ahavas Yisrael is to focus on one individual. In our time, perhaps this miflagtiut necessitates a different approach. I suggest working on loving another tzibbur. Find a group different from your own, one you have been critical of in the past. Here is a six-week plan for improvement:

Kabbalah I: Look again at that tzibbur. Find a few mitzvos they take more seriously and a couple of middos they have developed more than your own tzibbur. Try for two weeks to focus on those maalos. Be liberal in your evaluation. I believe any honest evaluator of other groups will readily see they have unique maalos.

It might be best to choose a group that you consider “frummer” than your own. Some people are very good at appreciating Jews who are less frum or not frum at all, but when it comes to frummer Jews, all that love goes out the window, presumably because they feel threatened by them.

Kabbalah II: Strike up a conversation with a member of that tzibbur. When we don’t speak to people, it is very easy to demonize them. Every tzibbur has individuals interested promoting division with others. They are often the opinion makers. Quiet their voices by speaking to other Jews. You will likely be surprised by how much you have in common. Try this for two weeks.

Kabbalah III: Express to a member of that tzibbur how much you value their efforts and all they do. Perhaps tell them to sit down before you do so, as they may be shocked. Imagine how you’d feel if a member of another tzibbur came over to you out of the blue and told you how much he appreciated yours. Is it beyond us to give that feeling to our deserving brother?

Allow me to end with a personal anecdote. My sons, dedicated full-time lomdei Torah, do not serve in the IDF. I recently had occasion to write a recommendation to a dati-leumi individual (whom I don’t know) who is involved in an army program for lone soldiers. I mentioned how much I appreciate all the army does, and I received a very warm response. He was genuinely touched by my modest effort.

How much of today’s great divide over the army issue ripping Israeli society apart would be healed if both sides expressed appreciation for each other’s efforts for Am Yisrael? We may live in a world of miflagtiut, but we can rise above it if we try.

Kabbalah IV: There is another ahavas Yisrael action item that is not often discussed, yet is more important than ever — the idea of being a saneigor (defender) of Klal Yisrael. Any Yid can be such a defender — or chas v’shalom the opposite. Think of a beautiful aspect of Klal Yisrael and mention it in your tefillah. “Hashem, look how beautiful Your people are — they wake up so early to learn Your laws. What other nation does that? Please shower abundant goodness on them.”

One can sharpen the avodah by asking Hashem not to show he’aras panim to an opposing nation and by “explaining” why G-d should show His favor only to Klal Yisrael. It is painful to think about, but Hashem has somewhat favored Bnei Yishmael in our times. A recent survey noted that the most common name for babies in England is Mohammed. Unfortunately, Divine favor shown to them equals troubles for us.

Daven to Hashem: “Hashem, look at what this cruel nation did on October 7, and look at how beautiful Klal Yisrael is. Look at the chesed we do for each other…”

We all revel in the stories of Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev. Of course, we aren’t on his level, and imitating the things he said would be a cheap knock-off. Nevertheless, the basic avodah is certainly something we can and should engage in.

Imagine finding out after 120 years that your tefillos made the difference. Even if you never do something that dramatic, we know that Hashem deeply loves those who defend the Jewish People.

This may be an avodah that you aren’t used to, but there is no time better than the present to start. I would advise having a set time at least once a week to engage in this avodah. In preparation of your weekly saneigor davening, keep your eyes open over the week to some beautiful thing you see in other Yidden. Mentioning that aspect in your davening will keep it fresh and genuine.

Rabbi Dovid Schoonmaker is the rosh yeshivah of Shapell's/Darche Noam and the author of Tomer Devorah Applied, Yedias HaTorah: Step by Step, and other works. His vaadim and other shiurim draw viewers from around the world.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1080)