Besides the spiritual, higher-level cleansing, we can help others with more mundane types of messes

O

ver the past weeks, we have learned so much about going b’derech Hashem, but this epic journey continues. The third middah is oveir al pesha. Let us see together the Ramak’s novel insights into this characteristic.

Oveir al pesha — He passes over transgression.” This is a great trait, as behold, the pardon is not through an emissary but rather actually through the Holy One, Blessed be He — as it is written (Tehillim 130:4), “For with You is forgiveness, etc.”

And what is that forgiveness? That He washes away the transgression, as it is written (Yeshayahu 4:4), “When the L-rd will have washed away the filth of the daughters of Zion, etc.” And so too is it written (Yechezkel 36:25), “I will sprinkle upon you pure waters, etc.” And this is the meaning of “and passes over transgression” — He sends forth waters of washing, and He passes and washes away the transgression.

And behold, a person must be just like this — such that he not say, “And shall I fix that one’s sin, or what he destroyed?” He should not say like this; for behold, a person sins and the Holy One, Blessed be He — Himself, and not through an emissary — “fixes the twisted” and washes away the filth of his transgression.

And from here, the person will be ashamed to sin again; for behold, the King, Himself, washes the dirt of his clothes.

When one considers following this middah of the Borei Olam, a very human response comes crashing into his or her consciousness: “He made the mess. Let him clean it up!” In Hebrew jargon, one might say, “Am I a freier?”

While this is a human response, it is not a Divine one. Hashem lovingly cleans up our messes and, as the Ramak notes, He does so on His own, without kiveyachol availing Himself of the myriad proxies He has for the task. The power of Yom Kippur is an amazing example of how Hashem lovingly keeps the world going through His direct cleansing of Klal Yisrael and each individual Jew. Without that cleansing, the world would have long ago ceased to exist.

We can fulfill this middah on two levels. The most basic entails helping others get out of the spiritual messes they have made. A talmid, child, or friend has dug a hole for himself. Help him out of it. Think of your own aveiros, especially those you repeat continually and the ones you would be embarrassed for others to know about. Know that there is a loving Father above Who personally cleanses you from all that. Be like Him and do the same for others.

Some examples of opportunities in our world: A friend drank too much at a Shabbos meal and is making a fool of himself. He may even be a bit unruly when you try to accompany him to another area. Realize this is your chance to act like G-d and put in the extra effort to steer him away from acting in a way he will later regret. Your coworker has a way of speaking in a haughty manner, which turns off other team members. He is clueless. Help him. Someone who misses some social nuances is dating unsuccessfully. Think of the way to instruct him to become more in touch with others. A rebbi can clean up the mess in a talmid’s thinking or the erroneous way he learned the Gemara.

As noted above, our initial response to the mistakes of others is often, “Why should I clean up after her?” There is another possible response that sometimes applies: “The best thing is for her to take responsibility for her actions.” Sometimes, this response is indeed appropriate. If your evaluation is correct and your intent is genuine, you should not bail the other person out. However, make sure that you aren’t using this response simply as a cover for the inappropriate response. Sometimes, we hide behind the reasoning, “It is good for him to learn a lesson,” when what is really moving us is, “Let him clean up his own mess!”

Besides the spiritual, higher-level cleansing, we can help others with more mundane types of messes. These examples may come up more often than the other type, and to adopt this middah properly, it is beneficial to work on these types of problems as well.

For example, you see paper towels on the floor next to a garbage can in a public space. Of course, you can argue that it isn’t your responsibility. And it isn’t. But precisely because it isn’t your responsibility, it creates a wonderful opportunity to act like G-d. The same is true about seforim left out in shul. You can rail against those who thoughtlessly fail to return their seforim as they should, or you can be G-dly. When you help someone fix his collar or tell him that his shirt is untucked, you may be doing it because you don’t like untidiness, but on a higher level, it can be done to help the other person. On the highest level, it is a possible kiyum of v’halachta b’drachav.

Kabbalah I: Look around. Where can you help clean up other people’s messes? Is it the first type, the second type, or both? Make a written list for yourself of the possibilities around you.

Kabbalah II: As the opportunities arise, for two weeks, clean up two categories of messes on your list, with the kavanah and consciousness that you are acting like Hashem by doing so.

Rabbi Dovid Schoonmaker is the rosh yeshivah of Shapell's/Darche Noam and the author of Tomer Devorah Applied, Yedias HaTorah: Step by Step, and other works. His vaadim and other shiurim draw viewers from around the world.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1079)