Shlomo Yakov Weber discusses how his father has been a guide and an inspiration, and how he’s developed his own style along the way

Not only is he Pinky Weber’s son, but SHLOMO YAKOV WEBER is a popular badchan and chuppah singer in his own right. With nightly simchahs an integral part of his own territory, Shlomo Yakov discusses how his father has been a guide and an inspiration, and how he’s developed his own style along the way

WHAT I’M SINGING AT CHUPPAHS THESE DAYS

In my experience, clients are divided around 50-50. Half the people want classic niggunim like “Kah Echsof,” “Machnisei Rachamim,” or “Vezakeini,” and the other half want more contemporary tunes. Recently, the up-to-date people are requesting Gershy Uri’s “Mi Adir,” and also a new Yiddish song — a prayer for children — by Mendel Rose.

MY GO-TO SONGS FOR MITZVAH TANTZ

Nowadays people request songs that are meaningful to their own family. If there are songs that the father always sings with the children at the Shabbos table, or the mother sings with them after she bentshes licht, I’ll incorporate them as the father prepares to dance the mitzvah tantz with his child, and that carries special memories for them. If one of the mechutanim waited many years for children, I might sing “El Hanaar Hazeh Hispalalti.” I also sometimes turn to classics like “Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh,” and I find that the melodies my father composed for Michoel Schnitzler a"h, which he wrote to accompany grammen-style Yiddish lyrics, also work very well.

SOME OF MY BIGGEST CHALLENGES

Rebbishe weddings involve a lot of forethought, as the grammen must be prepared to a very high standard. I do regular weddings, and I also sometimes have the high-end ones, where the choir stays on to provide backup vocals for the mitzvah tantz. That takes much more work, because I have to prepare the harmonies for them. Occasionally someone makes a chuppah at 5 p.m. and books an early mitzvah tantz, and then I’ll badchan twice in one night.

AN ALMOST FIASCO

I once traveled from Williamsburg to a wedding in Monroe, and realized when I arrived that I didn’t have my notes with all the family information and my presentation.  Although I felt a bit lost, there was no way out, and I had to pull out grammen on the spot. Hashem gave me the extra kochos I needed, and my brain worked on adrenaline.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY FATHER

Just about everything. The confidence to believe in myself and do what I have to do. The way to treat each wedding as the wedding of the year, because that is exactly what it is to the family who’s making it. And of course, not to let the stage or celebrity status interfere with my ruchniyus and my family life. My father showed me by example how to stay normal, not get carried away by fame, and make sure that learning and davening and family time always stay on top.

MY FAVORITE SHABBOS ZEMIROS

I have several boys, so zemiros is a big thing with us. Some do low harmony and some do high, and it’s like a choir. Kah Ribbon is always nice. We usually sing the Bobov one, with its repetition of “Peroik yas anach, peroik yas anach…” and sometimes we use the Toldos Aharon niggun.

MY MOST MEMORABLE GIG

I once sang at a mitzvah tantz where the chassan was orphaned of both parents. When he called to book me, I asked what I should sing. He said, “Do your magic. Make it feel like my parents are there.” During the wedding, he looked forward toward his future, but when it came to the quieter time of mitzvah tantz, he wanted to look inward. Instead of around ten minutes of singing to call up the chassan, I sang grammen for over an hour, bringing up memories of his childhood and his parents, as he wanted. It was a very emotional experience for both of us.

MUSIC THAT HELPS ME RELAX

I have to keep up with all the new music because it provides me with material for my work. For my own relaxation, I enjoy listening to Beri Weber and to Shmueli Ungar. But nothing beats the old MBD material that I grew up with. I love how Mordche sings — no one else can do it like him.

A SONG THAT TAKES ME BACK TO YESHIVAH DAYS

I learned at the yeshivah of Rav Moshe Green in Monsey. We used to sing Yedid Nefesh at Shalosh Seudos, and when we reached the words “nafshi cholas ahavasecha,” the Rosh Yeshivah ztz”l would sometimes cry. You don’t see that much anymore.

A SONG I CONSIDER UNDERRATED

Hershy Weinberger composed a song to the words, “Ki malachav yetzaveh lach lishmorcha bechol derachecha,” which was sung by Shloime Gertner. The song didn’t stay popular for long, but I think it’s beautiful, and I used it recently to call up the father of the chassan. Another one that’s underrated but that I’m still using is a song my father composed for MBD, “Midas Harachamim Aleinu Hisgalgeli.”

A SONG THAT GETS ME INTO THE ELUL MOOD

Moshe Goldman’s “Zochreinu L’chaim,” Rav Hillel Paley’s “Ochilah LaKeil,” and “Ani yesheinah… kol dodi dofeik…” I try to sing these songs at the weddings I do during Elul. Nowadays people make chasunahs right up until Selichos begins, and these niggunim create the right atmosphere for the time.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1076)