With my great system in place, your help is just making things harder

Avigail: My baby’s routine is the one thing that’s keeping our family life together. And your help is destroying the little stability we have left.

Mirel: Detailed schedules and rigid routines might work for you — but you can’t expect other people to pick up the slack.

Avigail

Supper, bath, PJs, snuggles, aaaand —

I turned to the door expectantly. Right on cute, Tzvi’s key turned in the lock. He was home.

Perfect.

I was ready to leave, comfy sneakers and all.

“Supper’s ready to reheat, kids are ready for bed, I’m off, have a great night!” I said, giving the baby one last kiss before depositing her in Tzvi’s arms.

“You too!” he called after me.

Yes, well. A great night was not exactly the term I’d use for a night shift in the hospital, but I wasn’t complaining. I loved my job, and while night shifts weren’t easy, they meant that I had free days at home, plenty of time with my kids, and a chance to pursue my dream career while being a mommy to the two cutest kids on the planet.

“Hi, Abigail,” chirped Nancy at the front desk. “Looking energetic as ever.”

I gave her a quick smile. I wasn’t about to tell my coworkers what my day actually looked like. Between shopping and errands and catching up on the laundry, getting in a quick nap, and then picking up the little ones, preparing supper for us, supper for them, feeding and changing and bathing and getting everything ready for the bedtime routine — whew. Sometimes, my evenings at home made even the bustling hospital ward seem quiet.

My friends always asked me how I did it. Two little kids — Yoni was two, Batsheva nine months old — and taking the night shift three times a week… but it worked for me, it worked for us. I ran a tight ship — complete with weekly grocery orders, a biweekly meal rotation, bedtime routine — and my kids slept through the night from a very young age.

It’s the only way I could make this work.

Tzvi used to laugh at me, finding all my systems and sleep-training programs and meal planning things funny. But at the end of the day, it’s the way I make it work — juggling a career that pays the bills with being around for my kids and maintaining the house.

And when I left at 6:30 p.m. with everything in place, a fresh hot supper waiting, kids who would go to sleep like clockwork at 7 p.m., and neatly folded laundry for everyone — he certainly wasn’t complaining.