The hardships, hurdles, and nachas of raising boys as a single mother

Buying his first baseball glove. Learning Gemara with him. Researching yeshivos and helping him to farher. When there’s no male role model in the house, mothers are tasked with playing Abba for their growing sons, while still maintaining their maternal role. The hardships, hurdles, and nachas of raising boys as a single mother

Twelve-year-old Tzvi came home one day panting with excitement. His middle school had introduced a new citywide chazarah program, with different levels and big prizes. The boys would review their material multiple times with an adult, and then take a test on all the material at the end, culminating with a huge dinner event for the parents. High achiever that he was, Tzvi immediately signed up for the new initiative. Then he raced home to share all the details with his mother, Reena.

With no father in the house for the last nine years, Reena had already shelled out hundreds of dollars for various mentors and chavrusas over the years, sometimes compromising on cleaning help to afford them. This time, she decided, she was going to do this solo.

“And so every morning at 7 a.m. before minyan, while the world was just beginning to stir, we sat — me with my ArtScroll, my soon-to-be bar mitzvah boy with his regular Gemara — and we tackled the daily quota of Gemara together. By the time Shavuos came round, I knew the material so fluently, I could’ve sat for the big test myself and gotten a hundred. It was a huge achievement for Tzvi, and I couldn’t have felt prouder.”

Amused at the image of mother and son bent over their Gemaras together? Welcome to the world of single mothers of boys, who are tasked with helping their sons navigate the frum male world even though they lack both personal experience and know-how in doing so.