So much more binds us than separates

In the wake of the tragic events of October 7, unlikely yet remarkable human connections have emerged out of shared purpose and resilience. Through their collaboration, they developed new perspectives and understanding of the other’s world, and achieved something greater than themselves, as they learned to see beyond differences, bridging divides that once seemed insurmountable. Here are their stories.

Shelly Shem-tov never had a chareidi friend, and Margalit Peretz rarely interacted with secular Jews. But when Shelly’s son Omer was kidnapped, Margalit’s family adopted him as their very own.

“Find me that woman from the video!” Tzili Schneider, founder of the Kesher Yehudi kiruv and unity organization, charged project director Margalit Peretz.

“That woman” she was referring to was the one decrying the divisiveness and politics surrounding the hostages, screaming for unity as the only way to bring her son Omer and the others home, in a powerful clip gone viral. And it didn’t take long for Margalit to do just that.

“I just put on my status that I was looking for her and I got the number right away,” Margalit remembers.

“Get me that crazy lady’s number,” jokes Shelly Shem-Tov — “That woman.”

“No, not crazy, no one said that,” Margalit, seated next to Shelly, shoots back.

The two of them are in the lobby of the David Citadel Hotel, just outside Jerusalem’s Old City, an unlikely pair if ever there was one. Their camaraderie is as natural as that of sisters, and it’s hard to believe they met less than a year ago.

Long before Simchas Torah, Shelly Shem-Tov, 52, was a passionate advocate for connection.  A freelance interior designer and relationship mentor from Herzliya, she describes herself as a “typical chiloni (secular) woman. I light Shabbat candles and we eat a family meal Friday night, but we never kept Shabbat. We’re not religious.”

Shelly and her husband Malki have been married for 30 years (yes, that’s his name — as in “my king.” “His father anointed him the day he was born,” Shelly says with a laugh). They have three children: Donna 28, Amit 25, and Omer — the son we’ve come to know on our davening lists as Omer ben Shelly — soon to turn 22. (Please G-d, in freedom.)

Margalit Peretz, 30, is as typical a representation of her own chareidi demographic as Shelly is of her chiloni one. She grew up in Har Nof, went to Bais Yaakov schools her whole life, married an avreich learning full time in kollel, and is now a mother to three young children.

“I made two or three secular friends over the years, and that might have made me somewhat more open-minded, but for the most part, I’ve lived an insular, sheltered, typical chareidi lifestyle,” Margalit reflects. “I had zero connection to the kiruv world until I started working at Kesher Yehudi four years ago.”

Kesher Yehudi, a unity project that pairs secular Jews interested in learning with an observant chavrusa, was the extent of Margalit’s connection to the secular world — until Tzili asked her to track Shelly down.