Five women share stories of what they did at a dating crossroads — when they needed to marry or move on

Three dates with my future husband, and I knew he was my zivug. Yehoshua was thoughtful and considerate in a way I hadn’t experienced before. It was the little things. He always held the door for me. If he was going to be more than five minutes late, he would call to let me know. He asked what I’d like to do on our date, but had a plan in case I didn’t. He even kept a cup of ice and a can of seltzer in the cup holder of his car in case I got thirsty on the traffic-prone drive from Queens to Manhattan. I mean, who does that?

But it wasn’t just superficial things. Yehoshua had the combination of worldly knowledge and Torah learning that I had been having a hard time finding. He was interesting, artistic, and well-rounded.

It didn’t take me long to realize I was going to marry Yehoshua. In my mind, the only thing left to do was choose the caterer and book the hall.

Unfortunately, he had other ideas.

At the end of our fourth date, Yehoshua got serious. “I think we should take a break.” He explained that he wanted to take some time to think things over.

I shook my head. “Now’s not a good time for a break.” I was calm but firm.

“Ah, okay,” he said. “When do you want to go out again?”

“Sunday’s good. Pick me up at twelve?”

He would try to break up with me again after our fifth date, and then again after our sixth. Each time I refused to be broken up with.

“If I keep this up,” I joked to my friends, “he might just find himself at the chuppah with no clue how he got there.”

But inside, I wondered. Why was he trying to end it? We had such a great connection. Our conversation always flowed. We never stopped laughing when we were together. Was he going on the same dates that I was?

After the seventh date, the shadchan called to break things off, and this time it was for real. I accepted that it wasn’t meant to be and started going out with other people.

But what I didn’t know was that I had made an impression on Yehoshua. He couldn’t forget about me so easily. Ten months later I heard from the shadchan. Yehoshua wanted to give it another try. Was I interested?