How to silence the constant critic perched on your shoulder

This article is about you. And me. And all those of us harboring a constant, flagellating critic that sits on our shoulders. And it’s going to teach us how to silence that voice and feel love — for ourselves, and by extension, for others and for Hashem.

IF

you’re reading this article, then here’s everything I know about you. You most likely have a warm, sensitive heart thudding in your ribcage, and a magnificent, intelligent brain sitting snugly between your ears. And it’s (very) possible that in the last few days you looked in the mirror and criticized, shamed, or judged the person staring back at you. (And if you didn’t, not even once, I’d very much like to meet you.)

Welcome to life. Where some days are a joy and others are jarring. But everything changes when you have the most supportive, accepting, and compassionate person to live it with.

Yourself.

This article is about self-love.

This article is about you. And me. And all those of us harboring a constant, flagellating critic that sits on our shoulders.

Self-love is a topic that’s been on my mind for the longest time as I coach more and more women who are on a hamster wheel of toxic productivity, chasing goals and delivering meals — all while feeling it’s never enough.

Self-love?

What is self-love? What does it actually mean, why does it actually matter, and how can we integrate this healing and holy idea into our daily lives?

Let’s start with what it’s not.

Self-love isn’t about self-absorption. Self-love doesn’t mean being blind to our faults. Self-love isn’t arrogance. Self-love doesn’t mean prioritizing me, me, me.

Self-love means treating yourself with kindness and compassion. Why? Because you’re a soul Divinely cherished by a loving Creator.

It’s not a new-age concept; it’s an ancestral calling.

From Hillel Hazakein’s famous Im ein ani li, mi li? and of course, V’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha, the message is clear. Loving thyself is a pretty big deal.

Ugh, Naomie. You may be rolling your eyes. I’ve heard this tens of times.

Well, bear with me as we explore deeper.