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| Jr. Serial |

Home Ground: Chapter 37

But now… it’s happened, somehow; I feel like I have a place here. I have friends.

 

I’m not interested.

The angry words echo in the air.

I watch Tammy’s receding back and I’m tempted to do the same, just turn on my heel and leave, because honestly, I’m done trying to make up with her. If she’s not interested, I’m certainly not. Like, hello, I was just trying to make things right. To do the right thing.

That makes me think of what Aunt Chana said about Ima. When she wants to do the right thing, nothing and no one can stop her. It makes me remember what happened to my mother — with her teacher, the accusation, the humiliation — in this school, at the same sort of age as I am now.

Okay…so yes, Ima would probably react a little differently from me over here.

I think of how she left the school, quietly swallowing her pride and overturning her life so as not to embarrass someone who’d embarrassed her a lot worse. And how she did it, not for recognition or praise, but just because it was the right thing. How I might never have even known.

Suddenly I’m embarrassed of myself, how petty I’ve been, refusing to see that Tammy’s simply lonely and hurt. Trying to start afresh without ever really getting vulnerable, letting her see that I want this, too.

Do it for Ima, I think. For my family. For everything to be okay for them in India, for me to see them again soon.

Excerpted from Mishpacha Magazine. To view full version, SUBSCRIBE FOR FREE or LOG IN.

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