Mrs. Rochel Stefansky circles the world to help women connect

Mrs. Rochel Stefansky, of Manchester, UK, is the rebbetzin of a shul, as well as a popular high school halachah and Chumash teacher and mentor, and an adult educator. Oh, and a life coach and tour operator and guide. But what draws people to Rochel is more than the sum total of what she does and accomplishes. It’s who she is: someone very human, and very real, with a caring heart and a touch of funk and fun, who has absorbed Torah hashkafah into her own reality and lives with a love of Hashem and His people.

Our conversation in the Stefansky home doesn’t feel heavy — Rochel Stefansky is nothing if not a “normal” woman — but I’m fascinated as Rochel goes from one hashkafah idea to another, easily quoting Rav Mordechai Miller (of Gateshead Seminary fame), Rav Avigdor Miller, Rav Pesach Eliyahu Falk, Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein zichronam livrachah, and other rabbanim.

I’m even more intrigued when she tells me how these ideas became the soundtrack of her life.

“Sixteen years ago, I was hurrying home from shul on Motzaei Yom Kippur when I was attacked by two dogs. I was thinking that I needed to get home and check how my daughter was, and before I knew it, I was on the floor, fighting off two dogs who were on top of me, out of control, panting and pawing, drooling and biting. When the ambulance arrived, the medical personnel discovered that although I was very bruised, the thick white jacket I had just put on had saved me from an actual bite. But it was a horrendous trauma.

“The next day, people were calling my husband to find out how I was, and everyone was saying, ‘I hope you send her to therapy.’

“But I knew I didn’t need therapy. I’d recently prepared and given a women’s shiur for Yamim Noraim, and the theme was, “U’vechein tein pachdecha,” how we ask Hashem to place His fear on us, and how when we feel fear, it’s a gift, a tool to bring us closer to Hashem. It’s not sent to paralyze us. It’s sent to awaken us and enable us.

“I knew that the refuah was prepared for me before the trauma — I didn’t need therapy, I just really needed to sit and internalize the messages I’d taught. And it worked.”

This incident became a catalyst for Rochel’s increased interest in listening to shiurim. Not a music person, she used to listen to the radio often. Although she abstained while her kids were with her, whenever alone at home or driving, the radio was her companion of choice. “That year, I tried not to listen to the radio during Elul, until Yom Kippur. Then, when I was attacked on Motzaei Yom Kippur, I didn’t feel like it was right to go back to the radio. Soon afterward, my husband bought me an iPod. He took it to shul and downloaded shiurim onto it, somehow picking out Rabbi Wallerstein, and I was hooked.

“Now, I listen to shiurim the whole time. And when I realize how much goes into my brain from all these shiurim, even when I’m not fully focused, it scares me how much stuff would have gone in from the radio.”