It ranks right up there with the classics of yeshivish folklore. Two adventurous bochurim opted out of a night seder and ventured out to a local bowling alley a small infraction by “veltishe” standards but a capital offense in a place like the Philadelphia yeshivah where forays like these were not viewed with much of a sense of humor. When their indiscretion was discovered by the rosh yeshivah Rav Elya Svei ztz”l they were summoned for their din v’cheshbon. Expecting the hammer to come down hard the perpetrators were undoubtedly surprised at the mussar that came their way. The venerable Rosh Yeshivah told them he wasn’t so upset that they had gone bowling during night seder as much as their having left yeshivah without their hats and jackets.

To the unaffiliated this cryptic comment would sound somewhat bizarre. Is bittul Torah second fiddle to dress code? Can bochurim blow off night seder as long as their Borsalinos and yeshivish suits come along for the ride?

Insiders know that there was a highly sophisticated message here — a fundamental lesson for life.

A little bit of Torah first to provide some perspective. When Yaakov Avinu was on his way to the house of Lavan he implored Hashem for protection and help: “U’shmarani baderech hazeh.” The midrash comments that “derech” alludes to four potential pitfalls Yaakov was afraid of succumbing to: murder arayos avodah zarah and lashon hara. Yaakov Avinu was concerned about stumbling in the most serious aveiros once he left the safe cocoon of his parents’ home. And what did he ask for as security? “Lechem le’echol u’veged lilbosh — bread to eat and clothes to wear.”

The pasuk begs explanation.

Perhaps Yaakov Avinu was alluding to two of the areas in which we must maintain a safe distance from the inherent danger posed by the world around us. Chazal forbade bishul akum — and to a degree pas akum as well — because they knew how fickle we are liable to slide down the slippery slope of allowing the world’s culture and ideals to seep into our hearts. We do not eat with non-Jews nor even eat foods prepared by them for fear of creating closeness.

The Torah itself forbids dressing b’chukas hagoyim. If we dress like them we feel like them. Maintaining our own mode of dress creates not only a physical barrier but more importantly a sense of: “I am not one of them” — a reminder to act with the dignity and decorum of a Torah Jew. Clothing is a mechayev and a constant reminder of who I am and elevated conduct should quickly follow suit.

Even Yaakov Avinu the bechir sheb’avos understood the need for his own food and his own clothes which would serve as the ultimate protection and constant reminder that he was Yaakov while he was in Lavan’s home. Living on a less strict standard could chalilah result in the worst of all transgressions even leading to the three cardinal sins.

Back to the hats and jackets

The Rosh Yeshivah did not imply that bowling a perfect 300 is somehow justified if you are wearing a tie and a white shirt or even a shtreimel or spodik. But if you are wearing your distinctive clothing you are less likely to go bowling in the first place. You are reminded of who you are.

The Bostoner Rebbe Rav Levi Yitzchak Horowitz ztz”l addressed the National Convention of Agudath Israel in 1994 on the topic of insularity and its limits. An article in a subsequent issue of the Jewish Observer quoted an anecdote the Rebbe shared with the conventioneers. “A women professor of law of our acquaintance… will not appear in class without [a sheitel]. In her view it represents a greater level of Yiddishkeit than she feels she has attained. But she wants to make sure she takes the system with her. The sheitel is her protective ‘spacesuit’ in a hazardous environment.”

Given the world and culture that we live in we could all use a spacesuit or two. It might be our clothes our wigs or some other mode of behavior but the need for constant reminders that we are different and have a higher calling is imperative.

And no doubt if Yaakov Avinu was afraid of speaking lashon hara how much more so in the decadent and gossip-filled society in which we live where the sanctity of speech has been so profaned do we need to build a fortress around ourselves to keep our mouths clean and pure.

A good friend who travels frequently for business and is often introduced to new clients shared with me one particular hanhagah tovah he has accepted upon himself: never to shake hands with women. Realizing that beyond the social statement this involves a serious halachic issue as well (yeihareg ve’al yaavor according to the Chazon Ish; others rule more leniently under certain circumstances) he feels that this red line reminds him of who he is and helps him adhere to the highest standard of halachah even on the road. It is his spacesuit. (One should always seek competent halachic guidance in these types of matters.)

While we can’t anticipate every challenge that may threaten to pierce our carefully constructed fortresses if we are truly committed we will have the siyata d’Shmaya to find creative solutions to sticky situations.

An acquaintance of mine was invited to an event at the White House during Ronald Reagan’s tenure. After the event the attendees were informed that they would be on a receiving line to shake hands with… Mrs. Nancy Reagan! To refuse to shake her hand might be bizayon malchus to touch her could be a severe issur. What to do? In a flash of brilliance and siyata d’Shmaya he held out his program of the day’s schedule and politely asked the first lady “Could you please autograph this for my daughter? She would be so honored!” Sign it she did and he then turned to the next person in line.

For those who are yelling “Chillul Hashem! Of course he had to shake her hand ” let us be reminded that following the Torah is not a chillul Hashem. If an old woman asks you to help her carry her packages on Shabbos where there is no eiruv the so-called chillul Hashem that may result obviously does not permit chillul Shabbos. We must work within the parameters of halachah and proceed appropriately from there. It is possible to maintain our elevated status as an am kadosh and also to be sensitive to the feelings of others — as long as we are truly committed to both. And again whenever possible rabbinical guidance is imperative.

Each of us must build up that emotional barrier between us and the world around us embracing the attitude: I am here with you but I am not part of your world which has the potential to gobble me up and chalilah destroy my Yiddishe tzurah and my neshamah. I will retain my healthy regard for who I am and carry it with me wherever I go.

Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach ztz”l is quoted in Halichos Shlomo as not comprehending why people are surprised at the rising rate of intermarriage. Chazal foresaw this danger and forbade bishul akum in order to limit mingling he noted and if people pursue leniencies in the very halachos that were instituted to protect them what do they expect?

The well-known gemara in Maseches Shabbos describes how at Matan Torah HaKadosh Baruch Hu held Har Sinai over our heads like a barrel (“gigis”). Rashi comments that the word “gigis” means a barrel that holds beer. What is the significance of the barrel’s contents? Why wouldn’t a barrel of safety pins or buttons work just as well? Perhaps Hashem was teaching us that the prerequisite to a true Torah life is being in a state of total insulation. Any brewer will tell you that no foreign substance can be allowed to enter the casks and barrels in which beer is produced as that would contaminate the product. How much more serious is the danger of contaminating our neshamos!

But alas we don’t live in isolation. So what are we to do? We can start by taking our lead from the astronauts and hazmat handlers of the world: wearing protective gear at all times. Whether it is the women’s head covering and modest dress the bochur’s hat or the balabos’s resolve never to cross his line in the sand we all need a constant reminder to stay above it all in our behavior our choices of entertainment our manner of speech. With the added dose of siyata d’Shmaya we will.

It’s summertime everyone. The hazards are greater than ever.

What is your spacesuit?

(Originally featured in Mishpacha Issue 665) Rabbi Henoch Plotnik is the mara d’asra of Congregation Bais Tefila and a ram in Yeshivas Meor Hatorah in Chicago.