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| LifeTakes |

Fighting for My Daughter’s Sake

  I’m taking the tools I used to heal years ago and using them to become a better version of me

AS I look at my sleeping baby’s face, fear slithers into my heart.

Before this beautiful girl came into the world, we were a boy family. Exclusively. Sure, they were a handful, my five boys. Lively and active and (more than) sometimes destructive, but I never felt like I needed to have a girl.

With this pregnancy, friends and acquaintances and random people who saw me with my boys would comment that they hoped this one would be a girl. But I, I didn’t feel that way. Having boys was easier. I didn’t have to worry that they’d struggle with the same struggles I faced.

But no. It’s going to be fine. She won’t have to go through what I did because I’m finished fighting those battles. I’ll never call myself fat in front of her, and I’ll never critique my body as if it’s a trophy that needs more shine within her earshot.

No, I’m done counting calories and burning them and hating them with all of my heart. I’m done hating my body. I’m done hating myself.

I am, right?

Excerpted from Mishpacha Magazine. To view full version, SUBSCRIBE FOR FREE or LOG IN.

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