Who cares about losing a friend when I might get cancer. I didn’t know then how much scarier life could get.

Iam on my way back from recess. One girl brought a ball and we had one of our rare Machanayim games. I am thirsty and sweaty but also happy as I gaze up at the cloudless blue sky.

Suddenly the sky darkens. Well, not for real but internally. Pincers grab my heart. I just know that Ahuva will drop me.

She doesn’t like me anymore. I know because of the way she looked at me. Help! I can’t just lose her like that!

“Perela.” Ahuva is walking over to me. “Great game, we should do this more often.”

Wait — so she does like me. But what if, maybe, well… how can I make sure that she will like me forever?

I high five her halfheartedly but then I give her an extra big smile to make up for it.

All the tales that I heard of tenth-grade politics and broken hearts are flooding my mind. Ahuva is acting so normal now but… what if?

My stomach is so sour for the rest of the day. Every interaction with Ahuva alternately reassures me or terrifies me. When I can’t get it out of my mind even after a week I begin to rue the day that I began high school. Friendships are so stressful.

On Shabbos I go over to Ahuva as usual.

“Are you okay, Perela?” she asks me. “You seem so tense these days.”

Finally I have a way out! If I tell Ahuva, then she’ll promise me we’ll be friends forever and ever. Then I’ll finally feel better.

“I’m a little embarrassed,” I begin.

“Of me?” Ahuva is surprised.