Say … What?
| March 7, 2011I love words. Good thing huh me being a writer and all! When I sit down to write a piece it’s fascinating to me how the words tumble out — sometimes softly sometimes harshly almost with a mind of their own. There’s a magic to words especially when they describe the indescribable with such intensity and accuracy that the reader — and the writer — both intuit the exact intangible idea as though they could feel it with their fingertips.
But honestly people sometimes I can get carried away. Inexplicably I find myself impassioned by the luscious syllables. Craving to convey a message buried deep within my mind I string the words together like jumbled gemstones. And although they glisten and I sigh at their beauty eyes of other beholders blink in the glare.
Like this e-mail I received from an editor I know and love on a recent installment of my serialized story “Charades”:
To be honest this sounds like she’s high on something. It’s just too too. Gila is not this New Age-y “listen to your inner voices” type of person. It’s fine if she has an epiphany; we need a way to move her out of the hole she’s crawled into. But if you can tone it down a bit I think it will be far more believable.
Sigh.
I argued I balked I coaxed I cried. But when a second editor had the same beef with the same sentence I caved. I mean what are the odds of two separate editors zeroing in on the exact same sentence out of a whole five pages of text to pick on?
Now aren’t you curious what the sentence was? Wouldn’t you like to behold the sty in the eye of my literary higher-ups? Relax dear reader far be it from me to deny you the pleasure of beholding the axed sentence in all its mesmerizing glory. For despite my editors’ protests I think it reads so exquisitely melodically and evocatively that it deserves to be showcased — if not in your magazine this week then at least on your computer screen.
Ready? Here goes:
And then in a frothing bursting moment time and space melted away and in their place came a strange peace like the perfect silence of a radiant island haloed with blissful sun.
Ahhhh … I get chills reading it. But I have to admit — it is a bit over-the-top.
And at the end of the day as the wordsmith slings a heavy satchel of nouns and verbs and adjectives across her back slumped against the weight and clanging of the tools of trade she sheds a tear for words cut down in the prime of their lives (sob! That adverb never made it past the first rewrite. Obliterated by the delete key in favor of a chintzy shabby synonym. It was a good word — honest courageous solid. R.I.P.) even as she grudgingly acknowledges … it did make Gila sound a bit far-out.
For more of Riva's writing's visit www.rivapomerantz.com!
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