Dovid looked at me for a second. “Alef-beis,” he answered, “but Zalman says if I learn fast I can actually start writing other things. And then after my bar mitzvah I’ll be ready for real safrus!”

I hadn’t seen him this excited about anything in a long time. Without waiting around, Zalman and Dovid disappeared inside the bochurim’s room. I could hear snatches of conversations but it wasn’t really all that interesting. Instead, I wandered into the kitchen and took something to eat. With a pang of guilt, I noticed that Miriam had served both the little kids while I was daydreaming.

“Sorry,” I said. “Thanks for taking care of lunch.”

“No problem,” Miriam smiled. “But when they’re done, it’s your turn to take care of them. My teacher gave us a lot of homework and I want to finish it before it gets late.”

“Fine,” I agreed reluctantly. Did I have a choice? She had taken care of lunch, it would only be right for me to watch Leiba and Yisroel until she finished her homework.

The afternoon seemed to drag on, and Leiba and Yisroel weren’t even in pajamas by the time Mama came home. I just had no interest in taking care of them.

“Guess what,” Mama said, walking in the door looking less exhausted than usual.

Miriam and I looked up. What was making Mama so happy?

“We got a letter. From Bubbe.” She pulled out an open envelope and smoothed the creases of the letter inside. Mama had obviously read the letter already, but that didn’t make it any less exciting. It was always so much fun to hear what was going on with our cousins in Europe.

“Dear Rivka,” Mama read, “You probably won’t get this letter until after Pesach, but I am sitting here writing it in the thick of preparations.”

Mama continued on and we all listened intently. “This part is for you, Elka,” she said. I looked up. What could Bubbe have written just for me?

“And about Elka,” the letter continued, “maybe she would enjoy coming to Riga for a visit in the summer. I know you keep telling me she misses the family here. We would get to see her and spoil her a little. Give her a good time. She works so hard to help you, it might be nice to give her a treat. Is there anyone who could accompany her on the trip? Send me a letter with your decision, and if you want her to come, I’ll mail you a ticket for her trip here. The train will take her most of the way.”

Mama continued, but I didn’t hear the rest of the letter. A trip? To visit Bubbe and Zaide and all our cousins? Of course I wanted to go! And if Mama told me to listen carefully, did that mean she would really let me go? I wanted to interrupt her but I bit my tongue. The minute she finished reading the letter, though, I burst out. “Can I go? Can I, Mama?”

Mama smiled at me. “I think it might really be a nice idea and I wanted to discuss it with you first. It’s a long trip and—”

“I don’t care!” I interrupted, forgetting that I was trying to let Mama finish talking before I broke in. “I want to go! I miss them!”

“But we wouldn’t be coming with you,” Mama explained, “and we need to find someone for you to travel with.”

“Can we try?” I begged. “Please?”

“I think so,” Mama smiled, “but there’s no guarantee yet. Let’s first see if we can find you a chaperone and then we’ll reply to Bubbe. If we can find someone, and you help me a lot before your trip, then I think it might be really good for you.”

I burst into a smile. I couldn’t help it. Of course I would do whatever Mama needed. And to prove the point, I jumped up to get Leiba and Yisroel into pajamas. On the way out, I noticed Miriam’s face. There had been no talk of her coming. She was too young to travel alone and besides, Mama wouldn’t be able to manage without at least one of us. I could see her disappointment etched in every crease on her face. I would have been disappointed, too, if Miriam got to go and I was left behind.

“I’m sure you’ll get a chance another time,” I whispered to her as I passed by. It was all talk, though, and she knew it. Mama and Bubbe were sending me to Riga for the summer because I didn’t stop begging Mama to move the family back to Europe. Miriam was happy here, but for me… well, I wasn’t so sure. We came here so Papa could learn with the Alter, but now the Alter is dead, Papa is dead, and we’re still here. Here, alone, in a place that killed our father. Mama said we were still connected to the yeshivah. It was still our place, our life. And we would always be welcome because of Papa. But we’d also always be those poor orphans, Yosef’s poor children. I hated it.

Getting the kids into pajamas took much shorter than usual — probably because I was so excited about the trip. Even Leiba’s tendency not to cooperate didn’t bother me. I had to go. There was no way I was not going.

“Mama?” I asked, when the kids were finally in bed. “Can I go tell Faiga? Please?”

Mama nodded, realizing how excited I was. And with that I was off, flying down the block, my hair streaming out behind me, racing to tell Faiga. For once, I would be the one getting more. For once she would be jealous of me. I tried to stop that thought because I knew it wasn’t nice, but it was true. I would finally have something Faiga couldn’t have.

To be continued…