I smile, trying to stay polite, despite my frustration at answering this question for the 30th time

I'Mtrying to be a new me, and honestly, it’s hard. The person I was accomplished loads of things each day. She was busy and overwhelmed and complained about it, but deep down, she felt good. Because being busy and overwhelmed meant she was accomplishing, achieving, doing big things.

But the new me does less and is trying to be more. Trying to make lists shorter and prayers longer. Trying to do less paid work and more housework. Trying to be less busy with the computer and more busy with little computing minds around me. Trying to be relaxed, calm, and laid back.

I was jealous when I saw those qualities in others, but chalked it up to their personalities. Now I’ve learned that personality can change; all we have to do is choose to change it.

Now I’m choosing to simply be. Relaxing my need for doing, organizing, and controlling, and trying to let go enough to allow trust and space for the One who really does it all.

It’s funny to hear people’s reactions. “Really? You stopped working? So what are you doing now?”

I smile, trying to stay polite, despite my frustration at answering this question for the 30th time. “Nothing, really. Staying at home. Busy with the kids and the house.”

“You’re not looking for another job?”

Again, I stage a smile and grunt some negative response. I’ve had this conversation tens of times, but I still resent it.