The downside of relationships, loving and caring for others, is that there are parts that can sometimes be painful and difficult to navigate

Rivka’s Take

HI, my name is Rivka. I’m 14 years old and in 8th grade.

I’m having a small problem with my friend Yael, and I wanted to ask for advice.

Yael’s been my best friend since we were little. We do everything together. That includes planning our Chol Hamoed trips together so that we can be sure that we end up doing the same thing! This year, we seem to be butting heads about what we want to do and can’t seem to reach a decision we both agree on.

I’ve been thinking that maybe, just maybe, it’s because this year I’d like to do something with just my family? It’s not that I don’t want to be with Yael over Yom Tov — I do, really. I just think maybe I’d like to take a little break from doing everything together at every possible time. And this year, my little brother Chaim just turned two and will be able to actually do some things, like get excited at the zoo when he sees the animals or go on baby rides at a theme park. I just know that if Yael and I are together, I won’t be able to be with Chaim the way I want to. She’ll want me to go with her on all the bigger rides or do our own thing, which I get, but this year I’d really like to spend time with Chaim and the rest of my siblings. How do I tell her that without insulting her or hurting her feelings? It’s really not because I’m mad at her or not in the mood to see her. I just know that if we’re in the same place at the same time, I won’t be able to do both, be with her and be with my family. What should I do? How can I tell her without her getting mad at me? I don’t want this to turn into any kind of fight.