“He’ll be so upset when he’s older and sees the pictures and realizes what you did to him”

You know it’s your fourth when…

… you find yourself saying, far too often: “Stop coloring on the baby!”

… you need to ask questions like: “Hey, who took the baby’s pants off?” and “How on earth am I going to get them down from on top of the air-conditioner?”

… you find yourself begging your toddler repeatedly: “Please, darling, move your dollies out of the baby’s crib. I need to put him down there! It’s his crib!” You win: The dollies are now in the baby’s rocker, car seat, and in your bed. No, you can’t move them, on pain of a tantrum. Spare yourself, and just sleep on the couch for the foreseeable future.

… your oldest shakes her head disapprovingly, saying: “I can’t believe you only dress the baby in hand-me-downs, he’ll be so upset when he’s older and sees the pictures and realizes what you did to him.”

… sleep-deprived you walks around in circles, laundry basket tucked in the crook of one arm, panicking: “Where’s the baby? Where’s the baby? Where did I put the baby? I can hear him, I can smell him — oh,” sheepishly, to the circle of upturned faces, watching their mad mommy curiously. “Oh… he’s under my other arm. Guys, why didn’t you say something?”