What was Elka doing outside at this time of night? How could she have found me?

Elka

I

moved past the low buildings on either side of me, first quickly, then slowing down, until I was just meandering through the narrow streets of Geula. After all the time we had been here, I knew the streets quite well. They were quiet now. Almost empty. Most people were inside their houses eating supper, getting ready for bed.

The cool air cleared my head, and, after the frustration embroiled within me had settled down, I was able to finally think. I couldn’t think at home. There was no room for thinking in the one room we all shared, even with the curtain Mama put up now that Dovid and I were getting bigger. The quiet of the streets seeped into my limbs and I let it fill me.

I was almost in Meah Shearim before I allowed myself to think about Bubbe’s letter. Bubbe. The last time I had seen her had been so long ago, I could barely remember her face. I imagined her in my mind, but somehow, the picture in my mind looked a lot like our old neighbor in Chevron. It couldn’t be Bubbe. I tried to dig up the image from the past. I could feel her warmth. Her love. I remembered when Leiba was born, back in Riga, and we had all stayed with Bubbe while Mama recovered. But even when we lived in Kovno, Riga was far away. Bubbe barely visited and we went to her even less. I couldn’t dig up her face from inside my mind — it was all just too long ago.

Not that it mattered. Bubbe was there, and she loved us, and she wanted to take care of us. And no matter what she looked like, I wanted to be there with her, too. Mama said we were managing. Miriam said we had Yocheved and Baruch to help us whenever we needed. But I kept thinking back to Leiba and those tomatoes and wondering — was Yocheved and Baruch what we needed? I didn’t think so.