I had a moment of clarity. “I want to share the power of inner work with other frum women,” I said

I remember the moment the realization hit me:

I’m just not good at sales. It felt like coming out of a dark room into the blinding light.

I’d been on a sales call, speaking to a potential client, trying to sell him an “all-in-one” package. I was offering to write his emails and set up the tech in the background to make sure each email was being sent to the right customer at the right time. I thought it was a pretty good deal, but the guy on the line apparently didn’t. I was using a sales script, trying to follow what I was “supposed to say,” and he wasn’t buying it.

“You’ve asked me enough questions,” he said gruffly. “Would you like to tell me how you can help me?”

Whoa! I felt like I’d just been punched in the gut, and I struggled to get to my feet again. Shame rose from my stomach to my face. Somehow, I fumbled through the rest of the conversation, but I realized then that I just couldn’t get the sales thing down pat, even with the script — and that without it, I was lost.

I started to question my whole career path.

But I’m getting ahead of myself; let me back up.

When it came time to enter the workforce, I couldn’t figure out which field to go into. None seemed particularly appealing, at least not the popular ones my friends were choosing. After speaking to a career coach and outlining all my strengths, I settled on special education. I’m good with kids, I thought. I’ve made day camps for many years. I’m sure special education will be a good fit for me.

I threw myself into it. I became a reading specialist, then a kriah specialist. I became certified in teaching dyslexic children to read. And I loved it… at least parts of it. I loved seeing the children’s eyes light up with understanding. I loved empowering them to push through their limitations and reach slightly higher than they thought possible.

But there were other parts of the job that just weren’t for me. I needed more growth, more independence; I wanted more room to do my own thing. I’d always been good at writing, so when my uncle mentioned he was looking for someone to write blog posts for his Amazon startup, I told him I’d be perfect for the job. I’d never written professionally, but I figured it couldn’t be too bad, and I jumped into the job with excitement.

That blog writing stint was soon over, and armed with exactly one sample, I pitched dozens of frum digital marketing agencies to hire me. I found them on Google, located the appropriate email address, attached my sample to a carefully worded email, and sent my pitch off to cyberspace.