Why was a charity case jetting off on vacation?

Gila: Think of all the people supporting you and your family with charity. Why would you do something so irresponsible?

Basya: It’s hard enough to struggle financially every day. Please don’t judge me for what I do for my husband and family.

Gila

My niece Basya doesn’t have it easy. Full-time job, full-time mother, full-time housewife, and a husband who hasn’t held down a solid job in maybe six years.

Oh, I don’t think it’s for lack of trying. Tully’s a nice guy, if a little socially lacking. When they were newly married, and he learned in kollel, they seemed very happy. She had a nice job, they lived in a little dollhouse-sized apartment, and even with one baby, two, it worked.

But now they have a growing family, kein ayin hara. Tully left kollel when their third child was born, and for a while he worked in a store, but that closed down and left him without a job and without very much professional experience. So they got by — Basya took on more hours, they managed to stretch a little longer in their tiny apartment — but eventually, it wasn’t working anymore.

Tully tried his hand at a couple of business ventures here and there — short-term things, esrogim for Succos, matzos for Pesach. Some seemed to do okay, others failed dismally, leaving them with piles of debt on top of everything else. My sister, Basya’s mother, confided in me one day that she didn’t know what the couple would do.

“They literally can’t manage in that tiny apartment anymore,” she told me worriedly. “As it is, Miri and Fraidy sleep in the dining room, and Moishy is going to need a room soon, too. But I don’t think they’re even managing to pay the rent as it is. Basya’s already working far too hard, and they have no cleaning help or anything... I wish Tully could get a job. Maybe Heshy knows of something available?”

My husband Heshy was a successful mortgage broker, but it wasn’t as if he owned a business and could offer Tully a job.

“I’ll ask him,” I told Chana, not wanting to turn her down.

Privately, I wondered if we could do anything to help Basya out. Heshy gave a chomesh to tzedakah each month; didn’t family come first for these things?

When I spoke to Heshy, he agreed 100 percent. “We just have to figure out how to give without embarrassing them,” he said.

“Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out,” I said. “Maybe we could somehow cover some of their debt without them knowing it’s us? And how about I offer her some cleaning help? And some of the neighbors for sure have kids clothing that they don’t need anymore. I’ll ask them if I can offer it to her, make as if she’s doing them the favor — you know how everyone’s going minimalist these days, trying to get rid of their extra junk. And then there’s the organizations I help out with, I’m sure we can get some of them involved, on the side...”

“My wife, the philanthropist,” Heshy teased.

I laughed. I did do a lot of volunteering — for Bikur Cholim, Tomchei Shabbos, meals-on-wheels — but it wasn’t on the philanthropy end of things; although we had a good income, baruch Hashem, we weren’t plaque-level donors. Still, we did what we could, and situations like Basya’s made me realize just how much I really had to be grateful for.

My niece was shocked — and overjoyed — when I offered her some cleaning help one Monday afternoon.

“I have Sonya all day, and honestly, there isn’t so much to do at the beginning of the week,” I explained. “I was talking to your mother, and she mentioned how busy you are, so I figured you could do with a couple hours’ cleaning help.”

“That’s an understatement.” Basya sounded frazzled. “Fraidy, no! Don’t wake the baby. Miri, come get your lunches. Gila, you’re a doll, I wish I could take you up on it... just, you know, how much does she charge per hour?”

“Are you kidding, Basya? I’m paying her. Don’t worry, it’s a favor for me. I need to fill her time because otherwise she’ll go off to someone who will give her more hours. So, can I send her for two hours this afternoon?”

“Can you? Oh, my gosh. It would be a dream. Just tell me what time so I can schedule around it.”

Perfect.