Zeidy learned it from his own father, who was murdered in the Holocaust

After lighting tonight, my brother’s message says, listen to this. I already know what it is. It’s a recording of our Zeidy lighting his Menorah, complete with Maoz Tzur.

“L’hadlik ner shel Chaniku.”

Zeidy’s always been a ghost to me. Of all my grandparents, my paternal grandfather is the only one I never knew. He died before I was born, making me an anomaly in my immediate family, as everyone else has memories of him.

My Babis and other Zeidy have also passed on since then, but when I see them on video, it’s not eerie. I remember their speech and sayings quite well. But it’s odd to listen to an unknown voice while being strongly aware it has a connection to you.

“Sheh-usu nisim la’avoseini.”

When the recording surfaced a few years ago, my aunt digitized it and sent it out to us all. Over the last few Chanukahs, I’d forgotten to fish it out of the subfolder where it’s saved. But my brother made it easy this year, sending it out via WhatsApp.

And so I sit and play it on a loop.