So sorry, I typed back. I was rushing, and you have a very similar name to the girl it was meant for!

Shani Leiman with Zivia Reischer

Moish was 27 and so tired of dating.

“Especially this kind of shidduch,” he told me, as he described the latest suggestion. “The shadchan is my chavrusa — he’s 24 and got married like yesterday, and now he’s an old married man and is positive his wife’s BFF is perfect for me.” Moish paused. “The truth is that it does sound pretty good.”

“But…?” I asked.

“But the problem with these kinds of shidduchim is that they fizzle out because the shadchan doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s not going to be able to see it through to the end. I know how these things go.” He paused again. “Then again, that’s a dumb reason to say no to a girl who sounds like she might be shayach. So I guess what I’m calling to ask is, if this shidduch goes past two dates, would you be willing to step in and take over as the shadchan?”

Moish was certainly not the first person to reach out to an experienced shadchan with a request like this. I admire and respect anyone who works on shidduchim — I know what it takes — but I understood his point of view. Sometimes experience does matter. This is especially true in cases where the shidduch is complex, or involves singles with a lot of dating experience, or with a challenging background.

I assured Moish that I’d be happy to help if necessary, and he said he would be in touch if it reached a third date. He called his chavrusa, gave an official “yes,” and scheduled a date with Faigy Rosen for the following Sunday night.

On Monday morning, Faigy herself called me. She had no idea I’d spoken to Moish or even that I knew she was dating him.

“I’m calling because you coached my friend,” she explained, “and she told me how helpful it was. I’m dating this guy now, his name is Moish Samtowsky, I only went out with him once, but the shadchan is my friend who just got married.

“I love her and everything, she’s great, and I really appreciate her redting the shidduch, but…” Faigy hesitated, feeling like she was betraying her friend. “I’m just not sure I have confidence in her ability to run this. I was thinking it might help to have someone else involved.”