| FYI |

5 Things I Wish You Knew About Your First Sibling Getting Married

By Shoshana Itzkowitz | December 1, 2021

Our family is about to change forever, and that’s kind of unsettling

This is the stuff that always happens to other people, and when it finally happens in your own family it feels SO! WEIRD! Like, our sister (or brother) is engaged? Getting married? Huh? You can’t contain your excitement, and no one else gets it, ’cuz, like hi, people get engaged every day, what’s the big deal? But when it’s your own sibling… yup, it’s a really big deal!

Our family is about to change forever, and that’s kind of unsettling. Yes, it’s exciting, yes, we’re thrilled, but the reality is that someone new is joining the family, and the dynamics will never ever be the same again. Along with that comes a pit in the stomach, no matter how much we like the new sibling-in-law. It doesn’t mean we’re not majorly excited — we are! But sometimes change is hard, even if it’s not in a bad way.

Will our new sister-in-law/brother-in-law like us? Will s/he pull our sibling away and only hang out with the other side? Time will tell, and as exciting as this is, we’re kind of nervous about that too…

You might be sick of us talking about the wedding nonstop, but please, ask me questions and let me talk about this a lot! I want to obsess over my gown, my hair, my makeup, and every other detail, and I need my friends to be interested! (Or at least make-believe…? Please?) If I’m being insensitive and talking too much, be a good friend and pull me aside privately and tell me in a really nice way. But when you can listen to me, please do!

One word: CHAOS. Baruch Hashem, only short term, and definitely not exclusive to the first wedding, but the week of the wedding and for sure the week after are total chaos. For the younger kids it might mean minimal or no homework, no tests signed, late bedtimes, missed showers and morning buses, but for teens it can be extra challenging because if this coincides with reports, tests, finals, midterms, school Shabbos, or any other school event, it’s almost impossible to balance it all. Our mothers are trying to keep it all together, but there might be no normal food in the house, no clean socks, and other balls that get dropped that make the whole situation feel totally dysfunctional. Good thing we know it will go back to normal after the wedding season….

Thanks to T.W. and S.K. for this great idea!

Have a unique circumstance you wish the world knew about? E-mail us at teenpages@mishpacha.com

or fax us at +972 (0)77-202-0556 with a short summary and your contact info.

(Originally featured in Teen Pages, Issue 888)

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