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arshas Vayeira

“And the two angels came to Sedom in the evening and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sedom. And Lot saw them and he rose to meet them and he bowed face to the earth.” (Bereishis 19:1)

This incident of Lot hosting the angels prompts introspection. Lot chose to live in Sedom whose inhabitants were evil as it says (13:11): “And Lot journeyed east (mikedem).” Chazal explain that he traveled “from the Predecessor (Kidmono) of the world.” His wife was a Sedomite and his sons-in-law were evil Sedomites.

Lot was saved from Sedom only in the merit of Avraham as Rashi says (19:17): “You did evil with them and are being saved only in the merit of Avraham. You’re not worthy of seeing their tribulation while you’re being saved.”

Another interesting point is that Rashi explains the words “And Lot was sitting in the gate of Sedom” to mean “He was appointed that day as a judge over them.” Naturally he had to judge according to the laws of Sedom that ruled hachnassas orchim a crime.

Yet despite all this Lot risked his life for hachnassas orchim to the point that it says (19:9): “Now we will deal worse with you than with them.” He was even willing to sacrifice his two daughters so that no one should harm the malachim. What gave him the strength to do this? (Rav Meir Rubman Zichron Meir )

I was having one of those days. Everyone was tired bedtime took forever and by the time I sank onto the couch I had no strength to straighten up the house. I called my younger sister to vent.

“Where are your older girls?” she asked. “Why aren’t they helping you?”

“No one’s home tonight. They’re all at a chizuk gathering at school. They bring in top speakers every year after the chagim to start off the winter term.”

“Nice” my sister’s sarcasm came over the wire. “So your daughters get to be tzidkanios while their mother’s helpless.”

Uncomfortable I changed the subject. I certainly hadn’t meant to imply that I was complaining about an evening of chizuk. I’m all for these things! How many more years do my high school girls have left to sit and listen to an evening of speeches? I daven they should all merit building their own homes and be busy with bedtimes and suppers. But for now let them gain what they can. My house will get cleaned eventually.

Rashi (19:1) quotes Midrash Rabbah: Lot “learned from the house of Avraham to search for guests.”

We see the importance of the lessons of one’s youth. They are what remain with a person his entire life to help him overcome trials. Rashi says in Shabbos (21b): “One remembers what he learns in his youth better than what he learns in old age.”

By nature man tends to waste his youth and leave self-perfection for when he matures. This is a terrible mistake for what a person learns in his youth is what will stay with him forever. (ibid.)

“Kids live in a dream world” my coworker grumbled. “I wish we could teach them what real life is like.”

Yet I wonder shouldn’t children be allowed to be children? There are so many stages in childhood. Preschool make-believe stage… elementary school plays… teenage years of philosophical debates full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

So they’re not living “real life” with all its responsibilities. But they’re living childhood and absorbing lessons through that medium. That’s what they’re going to take with them when they spread their wings and fly the nest.

Chazal say (Succah 53a): “Fortunate is our youth that didn’t shame our old age.” This means that one whose childhood is lacking suffers afterward when old age comes. (ibid.)

Perhaps our children are safely standing on the sand and the waves are far away. But one can’t suddenly learn to swim in the middle of the ocean.

There have to be slow but steady steps all taken in the security of a warm and loving atmosphere that provides the support to finally brave the waves. No interaction is superfluous. All the words whispered into tiny ears all the actions seen with innocent eyes — even if they’re absorbed without understanding they will remain forever.

Let children fill up with kedushah and knowledge while their hearts are open and their heads are calm. It’s an investment in their future. The day will yet come when they’ll sail forth confident in the knowledge that they were taught how to swim in a storm.